tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post2221864255417337394..comments2023-12-01T15:15:00.963-08:00Comments on Linda_Hensley: "Secret"Linda Hensleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11929626735450807904noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-89067207258769346182012-06-29T13:50:45.500-07:002012-06-29T13:50:45.500-07:00Thanks Anita and amen! :)Thanks Anita and amen! :)Linda Hensleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929626735450807904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-91680842640285711352012-06-26T16:53:30.850-07:002012-06-26T16:53:30.850-07:00I wouldn't have thought that losing a job was ...I wouldn't have thought that losing a job was secret-worthy either, even though it can be embarassing.<br />Now that I've read a few of the comments your readers added, I will be more sensitive on the issue.<br />Kudos to you for your work with rape and sexually assaulted victims on any scale. I HATE that people feel entitled to take someone else's body by means as quick as a touch, or as violent as a rape; or even with words.<br />May less people keep those kind of secrets.<br /><br />Very affective illustration.<br /><br />Will click over to the link you mentioned now.Anitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08180243708565855383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-44799110938276178042012-06-26T05:22:26.973-07:002012-06-26T05:22:26.973-07:00Thanks Mit!Thanks Mit!Linda Hensleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929626735450807904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-88206075893499234502012-06-25T10:24:26.087-07:002012-06-25T10:24:26.087-07:00I agree - very powerful logo. And interesting topi...I agree - very powerful logo. And interesting topic. I always enjoy your thought-provoking posts....Creations By Mithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02553912158930813310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-82363610811857042102012-06-22T13:48:59.139-07:002012-06-22T13:48:59.139-07:00I'm glad for you and your friends Sharon. May...I'm glad for you and your friends Sharon. Maybe some day everyone will be able to say the same? We can hope. Thanks for the comment!Linda Hensleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929626735450807904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-59608715075369788142012-06-19T15:11:46.413-07:002012-06-19T15:11:46.413-07:00The logo is simple but powerful. I can happily sa...The logo is simple but powerful. I can happily say that me nor my friends have been a victim. Or at least they haven't told me so.Sharon Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01683868787160249441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-23116119523139628432012-06-18T15:52:48.856-07:002012-06-18T15:52:48.856-07:00I didn't get busted for telling Friend B about...I didn't get busted for telling Friend B about Friend A's job status, so I didn't get any fallout about it. She has a new job, so unless she's reading this blog now I'm in the clear :) I can imagine saying something to strangers could be more sensitive.<br /><br />I guess we all make assumptions. I assume talking about being violated is private and not to be shared by a confidante. Until Friend A said she wasn't telling people about getting laid off, I assumed that was open for discussion. In the end, I suppose it's all in the hands of the person doing the divulging, but then they should say what's secret and what isn't, right?<br /><br />I'm glad I made you think Indigene. Now you've got me thinking too.Linda Hensleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929626735450807904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-757535655398056132012-06-18T15:12:25.913-07:002012-06-18T15:12:25.913-07:00I had mixed emotions on reading this...which for m...I had mixed emotions on reading this...which for me means it was an excellent read. <br /><br />Secrets was once a sweet childhood pastime, when I was a little girl...whispering about what gift, I was taking to a birthday party, or who I had a crush on when I was 14 and waiting for my husband and I to share our engagement with families together...as the years went by, I learned that "secret(s)" became a dirty word.<br /><br />I know from other friends, that secrets were an awful thing for them, in reality those secrets were crimes against their minds, bodies and spirits! Those secrets saddened me, outraged me, call me to action and many nights caused grief that could never be denied at the loss of innocence and love.<br /><br />I lost my job (2) years ago, I didn't want to keep it a secret, but I had a friend who thought she had my best interest in mind, when she told people at a networking session, that I was desperate for a job...while that may have been true, I felt embarrassed and humiliated that she shared this with strangers and talked about it amongst our mutual friends. I didn't think it was helpful and I got very tired of people, pitying me, instead of offering advice and/or emotional support. I was angry for weeks at what she did and it put a rift in our relationship. To this day, she doesn't feel she did anything wrong, even after I spoke to her about it in a calm and non-confrontational way! <br /><br />I'm don't know how your friend felt, nor do I question your reason/s for sharing her job status. I do know, that I learned a long time ago, to ask when people are divulging facts about themselves, "Is this private?" If I haven't asked that question and gotten their answer, then I don't share their information with anyone. It's just what I've learned.<br /><br />I guess the bottom line is I understand both sides of what happened with Friend A; this is not a judgement response, just a "this got me to thinking about..." response.<br /><br />As usual you always present good food for thought! :)Indigene Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455343121396299373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-6764103249776363002012-06-18T05:06:21.813-07:002012-06-18T05:06:21.813-07:00Thanks! Good point Coreopsis about people telling...Thanks! Good point Coreopsis about people telling a secret in order for someone else to spread news around for them. I think that was probably what I was thinking when I told about my friend losing her job. On the other hand, I won't tell about someone getting raped because that is so personal on so many levels that the victim has the choice whether to share it or not. I just hope that they will share it so they can get support.<br /><br />Excellent thoughts Paula! You said it better than me, and I feel for your friends who have to deal with these kinds of issues. And for me, it's gratifying to have the validation about speaking about taboo subjects. Thanks!Linda Hensleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929626735450807904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-68481057809581561862012-06-17T09:53:29.578-07:002012-06-17T09:53:29.578-07:00So so true about victims not telling anyone--or fe...So so true about victims not telling anyone--or feeling that somehow it's their fault (their fault solely because it happened to them). That's like Germans not saying anything when their Jewish neighbors were being hauled off, "because they must have done SOMETHING or they wouldn't be being arrested."<br /><br />I really really like your illustration at the top. It's very powerful and moving.<br /><br />I would say that your telling other people about Friend A was even the RIGHT thing to do. It seems to me that unless someone is telling you to keep a secret, they usually WANT the person they're telling to spread the word--it keeps them from having to tell their embarrassing news to so many people themselves.Coreopsishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03468751724163567889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-59180653966925562922012-06-16T23:58:01.582-07:002012-06-16T23:58:01.582-07:00I do think it is Linda's place to talk about i...I do think it is Linda's place to talk about it. It shows what a good friend Linda is. It show how Linda is willing to listen and then talk about how important the secret part of a secret is. Is it needed, fruitful or wise? Or does it prevent support, and a cure from done harm. <br />I have at least 5 women in my circle of friends who carry a secret like Linda describes. That is an awful lot, because for 5 willing to tell the truth, how many still hold a secret? And how many aggressors go free with keeping things secret? Not only is the harm done and the tension of carrying a secret seriously bad, it is also really bad aggressors carry on knowing only one out of many women will have the strength and support system to prosecute them. I hope this post of Linda will help women to trust other women and find support. <br />Linda, another great post that is relevant and professional.Paula Kuitenbrouwerhttp://www.mindfuldrawing.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-18222758601450751252012-06-16T14:36:48.266-07:002012-06-16T14:36:48.266-07:00Secrets can definitely be terrible and cancerous t...Secrets can definitely be terrible and cancerous things. Sadly I think there are a lot of people with no one to tell their secrets to, though maybe they don't know what resources are available. It's a great logo, stark and graphic.Cindy D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14818401562297915046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-16520474683559479222012-06-16T12:47:12.768-07:002012-06-16T12:47:12.768-07:00Thanks Karen!
Another person wrote me privately t...Thanks Karen!<br /><br />Another person wrote me privately to say that getting laid off is like rape in that it's something done to us, but we feel at fault for it even if the act had nothing to do with us in reality. Good point.Linda Hensleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929626735450807904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-26908300556646266292012-06-16T08:01:55.100-07:002012-06-16T08:01:55.100-07:00....and if she was so worried about people knowing.......and if she was so worried about people knowing she should have let you know not to tell anyone. Just piping in. I hate secrets and understand the ending up feeling like you have been inadvertently pulled into a kind of lie. As usual, I love reading your posts Linda. You always have interesting things to say. Love the logo.k.h.whitakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04987337506335691981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-85855213467266320122012-06-16T06:07:24.220-07:002012-06-16T06:07:24.220-07:00Thanks everybody!
Anonymous, I was sympathetic to...Thanks everybody!<br /><br />Anonymous, I was sympathetic to my friend who lost her job. I had been laid off shortly before her, and I know the miseries that go with that loss, but I disagree with keeping things secret. Bad things grow in the dark, and help is available when other people know what's going on.Linda Hensleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11929626735450807904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-62099105012885532682012-06-15T19:54:41.968-07:002012-06-15T19:54:41.968-07:00Its not your place to judge whether or not a perso...Its not your place to judge whether or not a person's reason for having a secret, or what their secret may be, is valid. Whether its rape or losing a job, its all relative to the person experiencing it. Its not your place to talk about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-45856106865431025132012-06-15T19:16:20.824-07:002012-06-15T19:16:20.824-07:00Oh my. A wonderful visual and commentary Linda and...Oh my. A wonderful visual and commentary Linda and a pleasure to read. It's true, we learn so much from the good efforts of our clientele and sometimes even become a better person because of it. :)Rand MacIvorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13769540503437221828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-59287179480617573422012-06-15T19:14:16.921-07:002012-06-15T19:14:16.921-07:00Interesting art--done well, very unsettling.
Tough...Interesting art--done well, very unsettling.<br />Tough subject, but a good write up.Mary Lou Rosato-Cainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06476116074539375337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6639676523379057364.post-67606158531848691702012-06-15T18:32:05.356-07:002012-06-15T18:32:05.356-07:00An important topic. Thanks for sharing!An important topic. Thanks for sharing!Sally Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06820717989808024547noreply@blogger.com