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Friday, June 17, 2011

"Launch"

Aunt Linda is getting muzzled. This is as pitiful as putting an actual muzzle on a good dog, but I’m going to do my best when I visit my niece tonight. Since I’m not allowed to use her name here, let’s call her Taylor. I feel muzzled already at the thought of spending my very limited time with her with my mom and hers when what I really want is to listen to Taylor prattle about whatever interests her. She talked about plasma. I called Phil, my physics friend, for more information. She talked about ectoplasm too. I looked up stuff on the internet. We bought magnets at a garage sale, and Phil gave us experiments to do. We bake cookies when it’s raining. It’s not like I’m doing anything inappropriate, but…well, okay, this is where I could get in trouble…

She told me she didn’t believe in UFOs. I said “That’s interesting. Why not?” She said her mom said they don’t exist, which of course led to my completely logical query, “Why not?” Well, Taylor didn’t have a response to that, and had an expression of wonder that it hadn’t occurred to her to ask for a reason. So naturally I said, “There’s lots of opinions and information on UFOs. If you do some research, you can make up your own mind.”

Oops. And in case you can’t tell, I’m not entirely repentant about it either. Taylor went on a multi-year research campaign and knows more about it than I do. Her dad (my brother) laughed. My mom frowned. I have no idea how Taylor’s mom took it. Go ahead, question authority! For that matter, your mom doesn’t know everything!

Everybody who loves that child has a part to play in her development. My mom and hers are disciplinarians. Aunt Linda challenges her to think. Yes, there are real rules in life, and it’s usually best when you follow them, but what are the real rules? Do you really have to eat Brussels sprouts or is it more important to taste things before deciding if you like them? Or is the real rule that you have to eat vegetables with anticarcinogens to be healthy? Taylor and I have opted for broccoli.

Yeah, I’m probably going to get in trouble tonight. Best to stick to “safe” topics, but interesting conversations are seldom “safe”, and Taylor has probably stored up new controversial topics to discuss with me because she knows I’ll listen. She won a fishing trophy. Maybe we’ll just stick to fish?

Feeling muzzled is a topic I’ve been thinking about for a while, and tonight’s adventure just makes it clearer. Because I want to spend time with my niece, I will play by the rules of the people in power, because I haven’t a say in this situation. The same holds true at work, or school, or church, or relationships. Somebody is always shutting us up because we’re trying to fit in or get approval. We lose a lot of ourselves in going along to get along, or by doing what we think other people expect us to do. Living our truth is hard to do when we try so hard to be “nice”.

Taylor is doing very well in school. Part of that credit goes to her mother’s discipline, but couldn’t part of her success be due to UFO conversations when we bake cookies? Taylor says something, I ask a question. She asks a question. When we have more questions than answers, we get on the internet or call Phil. He used to work at a science museum and has lots of kid-friendly answers and suggestions. How many other kids can claim private tutoring from a PhD in physics? He’ll have to take some of the blame if she ends up in the sciences.

In case it isn’t obvious what any of this has to do with “launch”, it’s because I’m trying to do my part in launching my niece into the world with as much of herself intact after enduring the socialization process. I can braid her hair to keep her neat in public, but her true nature will come out. She’ll yank out the braid or it will come undone while she runs in circles. I want her to see every color in the rainbow and feel the joy of the wind in her hair. But In the short term, I guess I can talk about fishing?

40 comments:

  1. beautiful braid Linda, sorry I didn't have time to read your post, I'll come back later :)

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  2. Thanks Karen, and thanks for the follow Annie!!!

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  3. Of course UFOs don't exist. They're be Identified Flying Objects if they did... Wonderful story about your chatter with your niece. She's lucky to have a wacky artist aunt who has a PhD friend and a penchant for making cookies. How great is that?

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  4. I agree with MacIvor, you make an excellent aunt. Every child should at least have one uncle and one aunt who ask challenging questions, draw and paint, and are inspiring persons.
    Is that 'Taylor's' hair? What a lovely colour.
    Keep going, Linda.

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  5. Paula, I actually drew the braid with a blue ball point pen, then took creative license in PhotoShop. "Taylor's" actual hair color is in transition, so just about any color seems fair game.

    Rand, what I've said often is there's lots of UFOs because until they're identified, everything in the air is unidentified. Only problem with making cookies is that we both really like to eat them :)

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  6. Can't see the downside to cookies, Linda...:o)

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  7. Beautiful braid, Linda. If I were a prince, I would want to climb that. And awwww to your story. I would be thrilled to have someone like you to challenge my kids!

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  8. Thanks Bella! I just got back from our visit, and I have to admit that we spent quite a bit of time talking about chupacabras. "Taylor" says she's going to be a cryptozoologist when she grows up. I guess I can't be reformed or muzzled :)

    I have a hard time seeing a downside to cookies too Rand, but they say that we're not supposed to eat sugar and butter and other good stuff. I gotta wonder who "they" really are and why they're trying to take away cookies?

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  9. great lines - really nice illo. Glad to see that you had an outside the box conversation tonight, by the way

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  10. Thanks Stacey. I'm still smiling at the thought of my niece being a cryptozoologist :)

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  11. Keep on launching into those interesting topics that teach her that her brain is for thinking and not regurgitating what she has been told. She is lucky to have an aunt like you.

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  12. Sheesh, I've been having troubles commenting. Maybe blogger is trying to muzzle me?

    Lovely braid! Nice detail and shading. Maybe you can find a way to "weave" your way to some inquisitive topics with your neice.

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  13. Everybody needs an Aunt (or Uncle) like you. Question Authority! YAY!!! "Where's the evidence?" Yay!!! After I hit 50 I decided to just say what seemed right and other people could worry about it. You don't HAVE to wait that long, come to think of it. All the best.

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  14. PS: If you talk about fishing, don't forget the book "Your Inner Fish" by Neil Shubin. :-)

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  15. What a great post, Linda! I applaud encouraging your niece to seek knowledge and I hear you regarding that sense of needing to be "nice" which may stifle you from being true to you. Your braid illustration makes such sense..such a great concept executed so well. I hope you and "Taylor" have many more cookie-baking dates to come. : )

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  16. Thanks everybody! I agree, everybody should have an interesting aunt or uncle. I have an uncle who used to play with Tesla coils and art projects in the basement :) Looks like an interesting book Dana!

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  17. Heisann! There's a lot of sense in what you write. We loose some part of ourselves when we try to be nice!
    Open up your niece's mind, Linda and let her make her own answers.
    Have nice days ;:OD)
    Marvelous drawing of her hair, we call it a 'flette'!

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  18. Cool! Now I'm learning Norwegian :) Just goes to show we should always keep learning.

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  19. Heh heh Linda, you sound like me. I have no filter when I talk, but I have always enjoyed throwing myself onto the verbal fire and then trying to wiggle my way out of it.

    It used to be a mischievous grin and a twinkle of my eye would do the trick, but now I am old and ugly I have to use my brains

    oh well :) :)

    Lovely braids, If I were a braid, I would be more than happy to be one of these!

    Good luck with UFO's we have plenty where I go on holidays - I've spoken to a few of the locals, some of who have hiiden u nder their beds - I kid you not :)

    hah my magic word is Fabbe :)

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  20. I don't know about hiding under beds, but there's quite a few people around me that say they've seen things too. I think the mischievous grin and eye twinkling starts working again when we get old. Then we can really be interesting influences on young people because they'll think we're even more special. Thanks for the comment!

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  21. And Andrew, "Armenian Phrenologist"? I've got a bump on my head... I wonder if that explains my compulsive foot in mouth about things like chupacabras?

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  22. Well, Linda...you are such a brilliant writer! And your posts are so much like sitting down over a cup of tea to have a heart-to-heart with a dear friend. Such a gift to your readers and to me! You posts clearly tell me that LIFE is going on there, and how you are reacting and growing with it. Do you know the work of Anne Lamott? Your writing style reminds me so much of hers, and I hugely enjoy both of you (albeit with my short blog-reading attention span...)

    Your niece is very lucky to have someone like you in her life, and I am sure she will recognize that when she's a little older...

    Thanks so much for your visits to my own (recently few) blog posts, and our lovely chats about art and life. The summer sun has brought my determination and creativity back a bit 'from the dead' and I'm trying to be philosophical and intuitive about 'the mirror of the physical world.' What can I learn from this is such a helpful--but annoying--question! :-)

    Sending a big hug...oh, and I had a huge chocolate chip cookie, Tollhouse-style the other day...it was bliss! I try to find a balance between Comfort and Healthy these days. My sanity is foremost. :-)

    Susan
    P.S. Your lovely braid looks like it could go with one of Amalia K's lovely ladies!

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  23. Aw Susan! Thanks! My heart is all warm inside :) I hadn't heard of Anne Lamott before, but a visit to Amazon.com inspires me to try looking her up at the library. I love our chats too, and am glad the summer sun is bringing you back to the living. Hugs and cookies!

    I like Amalia K's art. Maybe she's having an unconscious influence on me?

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  24. Fishing?!@#$ Though, actually, fishing can be a most wonderful topic...there's over fishing of our oceans—"Taylor" should know blue fin tuna's in danger and soon to be endangered, whales are losing the battle, and the great barrier reef may die... and there's still time to save them all, but may be I should get off my peach box... but on a positive note, watching a penguin fish is so much fun and what about the sea gulls that follow the fishing boats or the dolphins that surf with the container ships...I think fishing is a most perfect topic for "Taylor"... Always love your posts—I'm such a fan of bridging the left and right brains in pictures and words and you do it beautifully!

    And as always, thank you for visiting my blog—update on mosquitoes...they're winning, more than ever!
    P

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  25. I believe in UFOs! And happily watched, "Falling Skies" the other night.

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  26. Penelope, I know the mosquitoes are winning. I tried weeding my garden yesterday and my legs are still itching from the bites. Nasty little monsters! "Taylor" caught a trout for her trophy, and I don't think trout are in any danger of extinction. We had a conversation a while ago about eating perch instead of things that come from the ocean, and she gave me refrigerator art that says "Save the spotted turtle -- don't litter!", so I think she's got the right ideas about the environment. Is it any wonder I love this girl?

    Sharon, one of these days I'm really going to have to get cable. It's probably why "Taylor" knows more on the subject than I do :)

    Love the comments. Thanks!!

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  27. Hey Linda, I'm back from my hols and enjoyed catching up with your "launch". It sounds like your niece will grow up a very balanced kid if she can have a bit of input from every part of your family. The idea of YOU being muzzled made me really chuckle; if anyone can successfully muzzle you then I will start believing in UFOs ;0)
    Great plait, I was never any good at doing hair!
    Jane x

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  28. I think I'm actually better at drawing braids than making them :) Thanks for the comment Jane. Welcome back!

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  29. Questions are always good. Sounds like you are a really good auntie!
    You also are a very good artist: great braid!

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  30. Thanks Elizabeth and thanks for the follow Joni!!!

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  31. Everyone should be so blessed to have an Aunt Linda! And you are blessed to have a niece with such a curious little mind. You two are a good match. I like how your braids connote a weaving of life's experiences.

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  32. It is a beautiful braid, And I agree, you are a great aunt! I'm a firm believer in asking Why. To others and to ourselves.

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  33. Aliens and UFO’s have been zipping around earth for centuries trying to figure out the secret of the perfect braid. Well here it is! Ha! Great post and wonderful braid! Love this....Aunt Linda :o)

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  34. Lol Jack. I thought they were after the cookies!

    I do think my niece and I are a good match. I like most kids, but since my siblings aren't giving me many kids to play with, I especially treasure this one :)

    Thanks for the comments!

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  35. You're the only person in the blogosphere who writes 8 paragraphs and I bother to read them all.
    nice story braids.

    nice illustration too.


    .

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  36. Thanks Richard! What a nice compliment! I have set a limit for myself, and will try never to make you read more than 8 paragraphs :)

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  37. That is a gorgeous braid...and I checked out your website as well...what beautiful designs..and packaging..!Thanks for stopping by..I just started here at Illo...its fun but I forgot to name my piece "launch"...also I didnt write anything regarding its meaning...?should I have..?I love what you wrote...so true..!! and I as just discussing this topic of silencing ourselves with my friend...how much is too much for social situations..?good question..right..!

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  38. Thanks Robin! Most people don't write much about their take on the word every week, but some do, and like Richard said, 8 paragraphs is a lot for IF blogging. I've just found that I like writing things every week, and as long as people seem to read it, I think I'll keep doing it :)

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  39. Everybody deserves a little "free play" time, away from established rules and regulations! Appropriately illustrated concept! :o)

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  40. Yay for play time! We should all do more of it. Thanks Michele!

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