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Friday, November 30, 2012

"Stretch"

Sometimes we have to reach outside our comfort zones.  We have to stretch our minds, stretch our bodies, stretch our openness to the extraordinary – except I don’t like that whole thing about stretching my body because that sounds an awful lot like exercising, which I oppose on principle. 

My exercise program consists of trying to master the corpse pose in yoga.  Mom taught it to me when I was about 5, and if it worked then, I figure it ought to be working for me now.  Dad used to do handstands against the door and do pushups in that position.  He also liked to do pushups with as many kids as possible on his back for more resistance.  I certainly wasn’t ever going to accomplish that, so why bother?  Besides, I’m not sure it’s worth the effort to have kids to create exercise equipment.

I’m not a complete slug.  I do physical things.  I’m even considering raking my leaves since I’ve successfully postponed that task into December, and still haven’t gotten enough snow to justify forgetting about them until spring.  It’s just that I really can’t see the point of doing unnecessary work or counting.  A friend told me about her new exercise routine.  She likes 17, so she’s doing 17 repetitions of each of her exercises.  I’m sure I’d lose track after about 3 or 4, and that means I could accidently do more than 17 leg lifts or crunches.

I was listening to the news and heard President Obama sent Jason Mraz to Myanmar/Burma, “the first international artist to perform… in the country since the end of military rule… and the second Western act to perform in the country in decades” according to Huff Post.  I like Jason, so I turned on youtube and danced my dog around the room.  This had the unfortunate result of getting Jason stuck in my head for 3 days, which just goes to show exercise is dangerous.  You can listen to Jason here  or here, but be warned; just looking up these links made me burst into a new round of singing, chair dancing, and toe tapping.

I recently found this little booklet.  For a mere 25 cents, you could learn how to develop a new personality.  Unfortunately, Joe Bonomo seemed to think exercise was part of the plan, and obviously women needed a new personality far more than men.  No matter how much I might be willing to stretch in theory, I don’t think I can go with his program.  Besides exercise, Joe said “The girl who is too self-sufficient… or gives the appearance of being so… can drive a guy away.  He’ll think she’s perfectly capable… too capable… of taking care of herself and her own problems.”

Hmm… I knew I was doing something wrong.  I should’ve learned how to swoon on cue so the man could catch me like in the picture, but wouldn’t you think with all that exercising that the woman couldn’t faint because of all that excess healthiness?

Joe seemed to know a lot about fixing women.  Some of his other books included “Lovelier after 40”, “Simplify your Housekeeping”, “Figure Ritual for Beautiful Bust Contour”, and “How to Give Successful Parties”.

I figure I got enough exercise today just looking for my sketchbook.  That involved climbing stairs, bending, squats…

I had a simple idea when I started this project today, but PhotoShop gives me too many toys to play with.  I ended up wasting a heck of a lot of time for what ended up being a pretty simple idea, no matter how many options I tried.  Even so, all of us should experiment with options in our software.  Sometimes we end up with a new favorite.

27 comments:

  1. That was entertaining, Linda. LOL I grooved a little to Jason, thought about my exercise routine (you need to join me and my girls as we try to stay young), and I'm still laughing at that booklet! Physically, I'm constantly moving, so I don't know how I'm going to pull off that fainting act. Maybe I'll be overly exerted. :)

    Your art is showing up as purples and blues on my screen. Very vivid and stimulating. Hey, maybe attach a picture of yourself in the center in a leg lift position to get that motivation going! lol

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  2. I see a silk scarves in your future! European fashion runways and "Linda of Paris" designs taking the world by storm. And I don't think that's much of a 'stretch'...

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  3. Often times the simplest ideas take on a life 0f their own when working in photoshop. I've wasted many an hour "playing around" and trying to find something that I like. ;) That booklet is a hoot.

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  4. Love the old booklets Linda, I have obviously not mastered the art of swooning...how hilarious. Great stretch sketch.Happy 1st December ;0)
    Jane x

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  5. “The girl who is too self-sufficient… can drive a guy away.” Unbelievable, uh? How our collective thinking has changed. Now men boast about their capable women. How will our thinking futher change?

    Your illustration puzzles me. The leaf decoration around the 3 by 3 flowers, is whirling anti-clockwise. Obviously you went back in time while reading your booklet. Are you sure you returned to 2012?

    The women in your booklets look very happy. Maybe we (women) collectively should act very uncapable one day of the week and see how that works out.





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  6. That's funny (acting uncapable), Paula!

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  7. Clearly, I have to work on developing a new personality. Maybe today I will act uncapable for an hour or two.
    Your dad sounds like Jack Lalane! I took a yoga class once, it was fun and I think the corpse pose was my fave :)
    Pretty illustration!

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  8. Interesting train of thought, Linda. Love the old photos, if not the ideas within, and your design is great too.

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  9. I'm incapable of being uncapable for men. I guess I'll just pick myself up after fainting.

    Yes, my dad was like Jack Lalane. Dad was quite the fan, but despite what both Jack and Dad thought, I have never managed to accomplish a pushup, with or without kids hanging on my back.

    I think my art could be seen as clockwise or counterclockwise depending on which way you want to go in time :)

    Thanks for the comments!!!

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  10. Another great post, Linda! I agree completely with your take on exercise. The funny thing is, I work full time in product development for a company that makes women's home fitness equipment....I thought when I first got hired the job might change my opinion. Nope! :) That pamphlet is a riot! I'd be the author's worst nightmare! Regarding the artwork, gorgeous, vibrant colors! Love it!!

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  11. Thanks Mit! Product development for exercise equipment? Yeeks. It would've been my nightmare if I'd ever thought of it :)

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  12. If I didn't stretch I would be as tight as the scrooge!

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  13. I was a scrooge last week Sharon :)

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  14. Exactly! About stretching ourselves with our software.... I have been doing that too. Too funny about all the other stretching. I love stretching. It feels so good!

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  15. Too funny about the rest of your fabulous post. The cadet scout handbook was full of things like that. A LADY, when she wants to go faster, makes more small steps, rather than striding bigger. That was it for me. And if I were a man, I'd WANT a self-sufficient woman!

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  16. First of all, what a wonderful illustration, Linda. You excel at something I do extremely poorly, which is symmetry and depth. Lovely work! I am laughing at that incredible book you showed us...sheesh! I suppose I should pay more attention to bust contour and such. NOT! HA! And I am so relaxed about physical activity that my husband is getting on me about it...must move the arms and such..but aren't I already? Lifting groceries and driving the car? You know, when the snow comes, perhaps you can just forget about raking altogether? : ) Thank you for making me chuckle today, Linda..your posts always make me think and smile. And thank you for your wonderful visit recently, it means a lot! Happy December to you my friend!

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  17. It still hasn't snowed, and the leaves still aren't raked. Maybe next week? Which is exactly what I've been saying for at least a month. In the meantime, I think I'll practice taking lots of little steps and see where that gets me :) Thanks for the comments!

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  18. Always enjoy reading your posts Linda. Been away from Blog land for a while so i have got some catching up to do. Looking forward to reading some more of your posts. I think i might ask santa for a new personality for Xmas :)) That booklet makes me laugh out loud!

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  19. My goodness, what a post! First, beautiful illustration at the top. Wonderfully vibrant colors and as I keep commenting on various art blogs - you can never have too much purple. Wonderful patterns too.

    Hooray for reminding me about "I'm Yours". I sort of overplayed it a while back, but I'm definitely ready for more.

    As for those old "advice" books they are usually hilarious, but also rather frightening. It's not really all that long ago, the grand scheme of things. :)

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  20. Heya Linda, ah you muist be highly intelligent cause only highly intyelligent people make me laugh the way you do! I''m just cracking up about your observations - dry and wittyhits the mark. Mind you, I've been practicing swooning since I was 23 and it never made women chase me - so it must work the other way. If you've got it 'swoon it" I always say... (i say a lot of things) your image is singing by the way, you haver that inner sense of colour chording that I always get so jealous of.

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  21. PS I was going to say something else but I forgot what it was... :) (oh I think it is about my favourite t shirt which says "Bah Humbug" on it... :)

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  22. Hey Linda! I had a blast catching up on some of your old posts. You are such an entertaining writer. I lost track of time. My wife just told me that the dog is STILL waiting to go out. Speaking of stretching.... I play football with my sons (Their all in their 30s) and their friends. I hang in there pretty good every year. Some of the “kids” have gotten hurt over the years. But I never had. My son said “Dad, your getting old, I think you better stretch before we play.” Maybe I better, I thought. so I started stretching and pulled a calf muscle!

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  23. Which just goes to prove my point Jack! And I need a "Bah Humbug" shirt too Andrew!

    Go visit Amanda on her site. She has some beautiful ceramics for sale.

    I'm glad to see some of my missing blog buddies again. Thanks for the comments everybody!!

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  24. Oh my goodness how did we ever fall for that B.S. Not only did he have a line on how we should keep ourselves to skinny then the bozo has a booklet on keeping our homes neat. Is he still alive so I can find out where he lives and smack him upside his head? I mean it to. The only reason my brother got out of doing any household chores and some around the garage is because he would break dishes and brooms. My only downfall was I didn't pick up on this earlier I would have out done him in anything, including breaking things to get out of doing the chores. Where were you Bruce when I was washing your undies you could have told me how to break that wringer washer.

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  25. Mr. Joe Bonomo is a treat - well, maybe not the way he would like, but still. I would say some things have improved over time. Slowly. I am all for stretching, and won't say anything more about that. Have a lovely weekend, Linda.

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