I’m a creative, experienced, multi-purpose artist and art director
who can take projects start to finish in a variety of styles.

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Friday, January 25, 2013

"Wings"

This week everyone has been telling me that I’ll find my wings at work, but I’ve been trying very hard to feel the ground beneath my feet.  In case you missed last week’s post, my boss died suddenly, and I’ve been scrambling to keep everything moving as seamlessly as possible.

I’m really lucky.  The people in my office know their jobs and care about doing them well.  My vendors have offered to help me out however they can.  Before my boss’ sudden demise, she was training me to take over her job for her eventual retirement.  Really, I couldn’t ask for a better situation.  Well, I suppose I could ask, but that would just be greedy.

Sometimes I’ve caught myself thinking everyone fantasizes about being the boss when they’re worker bees.  I’ve racked up plenty of time with those fantasies, all the way up to the last time I was the boss and getting squeezed from both above and below.  Middle management isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.  Everybody wants something and wants to know why you haven’t gotten it for them yet.

After the last management stint I did, I decided I was happier as a worker bee.  Let other people deal with problems, I’ll just do what I’m told and keep my head down.  It was kind of nice at first, but after a while I started noticing the stupid things management did, and started having managerial fantasies again.  Maybe it’s an inescapable human condition?

I won’t bore you with my multiple discussions with personnel and accounting this week, or the binders I brought home for the weekend that have inspiring titles like “Statement of Accountability”.  That isn’t sexy.  It’s better to think about the Pantone swatch book I chucked in my desk drawer today.  It’s not like I have to pick out that many colors at this job, but it’s one of those things that I have to cling onto to remember that my job isn’t entirely statistics.

I fell into this job.  I originally planned on doing some data entry as a reliable PT gig to support my art addiction.  It was close to home, and I didn’t want to tax my brain too hard.  I quickly found out data entry is hard, and my boss quickly discovered my previous fund raising was an asset.  Win/win, and I got to work with printers in developing direct mail campaigns.  I went along with the plan to teach me about data base segments, attributes, research, and other stuff that seemed suspiciously anti-art minded.

Now I’m wondering about how to have it all.  I like the idea of a real paycheck.  Money comes in handy, and there’s nothing like not having money for a while to remind us of that.  The problem with money is that it takes a lot of time and energy to earn it.  Painting a masterpiece takes a backseat to the pleasure I had today moving furniture around to make a more effective work space.

It seems like there are always trade-offs.  When I made this hawk, I made a minor salary at a park district.  I loved my job, but there never seemed to be enough $ to ever get beyond basic survival.  The ironic thing is that I made this hawk as part of a fund raising campaign for a wildlife rehab center.  Now I make more $, but I’m not doing scratchboard hawks.  Which is more important?  Can we ever really have it all?

24 comments:

  1. I am doing DB work at a part-time gig, because of the same reasons you talked about; just want to have money and keep my head down. I'm believing that what I'm learning will help me with managing my own business.

    But I have noticed how things are being handled and keep my lips zipped!!! LOL! Money is nice, but managing others exhaust me. I wish you incredible success as you maneuver your talent and passion with your left brain activity. :)

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  2. This is beautiful! Wonderful detail, just gorgeous!
    Sorry to hear that you are in a rough patch right now. I don't know if we can have it all. Maybe not all at one time.
    You are talented- keep it up!

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  3. I love your hawk!! Wishing you hawk-like strength and tenacity as you fly through stormy skies. Okay, maybe a little overkill on the analogy, but you get my sentiment. They're lucky to have you!

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  4. It has certainly been a steep learning curve for you this week Linda but you are strong and very capable. Life is always a trade off but as long as you can fit some creativity in there your wings can open fully and you can soar....just like you magnificent eagle. Keep positive and moving forward. Take care Jane x

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  5. Like the flight of an eagle, there are times you glide on the prevailing breezes and times you battle the headwinds... neither is to be lamented.

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  6. It's HARD for sure! I'm a teacher, and I still love my joy, but I would never ever ever want to be an administrator. Teaching isn't worker-bee-ish, but it is certainly grueling.

    And I LOVE this hawk--it is absolutely gorgeous!

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  7. I think it's a constant juggle as to what priorities are. I think the thing to think about is what make me happiest and most content.
    Lovely hawk by the way.

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  8. Thanks everybody!! Your comments just go to show that a lot of us have to juggle things. Maybe sometimes we even manage to have things in balance too? I'm wishing everyone can soar like an eagle/hawk in the things they do. Wishing everyone a great week!

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  9. Love the detail in your hawk, it looks very commanding! Managerial perhaps? I hope things settle down soon for you.
    Your thoughts in this post are on par with what's been running around in my head lately. I'm faced with opportunities of more $$, but I'd have to give up play time for it. Something's gotta give.

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  10. Sorry about your boss. Wonderful hawk!

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  11. Linda, my condolences with the lost of your boss. That must have been a real shock.

    You seem to embark on a new life phase, a new adventure. I wish you will have your hawks beautiful wings to deal with all the responsibilities that come with it.

    You will be doing very well, I really think so.

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  12. It is hard to have it all. The more you work the less you play. But like you said it is hard to play at all without the $. I hope you will find a balance when the dust settles. An artist's brain isn't always cut out for management. But you seem like you are not only a creative cookie but a smart one. Beautiful hawk!

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    1. I don't feel we can have it all or do it all without something giving. However we can make some time to do what we enjoy.

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  13. Thanks everybody! I think I've gotten lost in paper at work. Somebody will have to send in the hounds to find me!

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  14. Sudden death always makes the ground shake. So maybe it's not bad to take on the wings. When things get shaken up, it's also an opportunity to rethink life and all its implications. Is money more important than a meaningful job? Is it possible to combine? There is no easy answer to the question, although I have - after many years - come to a conclusion for myself. I hope you find your answer, too, Linda. You are evidently both very creative and smart. And, yes, the hawk is beautiful.

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  15. Lovely drawing, goes well with the swoop and scramble you describe.
    Me, I've given up on balance for the most part; physical energy goes where it is needed, emotional and mental energy where it most feeds me. When I can manage that. Not every day IS manageable, I figure. But so far they've all been survivable. Enjoy the new things you see from that viewpoint.

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  16. Hya Linda, gah, when I say this started thinking awesome, like awestruck, like how ^%^%$$%%$$% good is this drawing? Like how good (answer "it's awesome"). What talent you have when you get a chance to sit down.

    I'm sorry about your Boss. I was a boss for a while in my own business. It sucked, I always say, what if someone offered you a trillion trillin dollars for three years of your life, you would go "nah" I would rather live three more years thanks anyway"... but how many bosses out there make that decision to give away their life for a lot less .... by giving away their life I mean t heir life's time. Something that is in short supply.

    Lucky we can't see into the future othersiwe the world would be a shambles of people having perpetual holydays :)

    Ah did I say how awesome your image is ? :) I also meant bbeautiful. (with two b's)

    see you in a few weeks, I am on weekly dettention again at the beach (presecribed by nmy shrink :) )

    PSD you also have talent when you are sitting up :)

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  17. It could be that we can have it all, but there will be times when some of it will have to be up in the air. My thoughts are with you as you make this transition. I'm certain that there will be many more opportunities for creativity ahead. Like this gorgeous hawk, you'll be able to see things from an even broader perspective!

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  18. Your hawk is amazing! It truly captures a feeling of movement. Good luck with all the changes at your job!

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  19. Thanks so much everybody!! I'm still hanging in there at work, but I'll admit I'm exhausted by thinking too much. Your kind words are a balm to my very tired spirit this week :)

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  20. Nope, I don't believe we can have it all. The funny thing is: I wish we could appreciate the now more, because when I look back, I see that life was mostly okay, that hindsight showed me good pictures. So I have to make myself "know" that the current is okay, too, because it is.
    Yours is too. :)

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  21. Oh, your hawk is sweet, as the kids say. My daughter and I just finished an Audubon puzzle filled with birds. Your hawk would have fit in nicely.

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