"Entangled"

I had a dream once, or maybe it was a meditation… whatever you call it, I was thinking about my place in the world and the “why” of the universe when I saw a pattern in my mind of criss-crossing lines with points of light at certain intersections.

“We are a nation of communities... a brilliant diversity spread like stars, like a thousand points of light in a broad and peaceful sky.”- President George H.W. Bush

Never let it be said that I can’t quote a Republican once in a while, and I actually thought I was quoting Hillary Clinton (which annoyed me almost as much), but no, it was Papa Bush.  Politics aside, I understood my vision to be the idea that I served a purpose in the universe.  I was a point of light, and I saw the connections between others.  It all made sense to me for a moment.

Sometimes I remember the vividness of this vision when I think about the threads of lives weaving in and out like invisible spider webs.  People I‘ve forgotten resurface after decades and tell me I did something that meant something to them.  I’m glad I didn’t know it at the time or I might’ve done things differently, or been so wrapped up in possible unintended consequences that I might never have done anything at all in my life.

I know I’ve surprised other people too when I’ve told them they had a lasting impact on my life.  One of the really wonderful things about the internet is that it lets us find people we thought were lost to us forever.  We can reach across time and distance to say “Thanks” and “I love you.”  We don’t say those things often enough.

When I’ve talked to lost friends via internet, I discovered those old connections still mean something to me.  I’m not really sure what to do about that other than an occasional “Hey, how ya doin’?”, but the connections matter.

If nothing else, maybe part of these kinds of entanglements is that once in a while I send out my best wishes to these people.  They don’t know it, but I honestly wish them success and happiness.  I’ve done this a long time, and then found out other people have done the same for me.  The thought is unexpected, but it also sustains me sometimes.

It’s not like the way some people try to pray me into thinking/doing what they believe is right.  It’s an open hearted feeling.  I think I’m at my best when I’m in that kind of mental/emotional space.  Wouldn’t it be nice if all wishes and intents and relationships were so simple?

“Entangled” is often a negative word, like you’ve gotten your foot stuck in a bear trap or weeds or someone else’s significant other, but the soul strands of spider webs are something I see as a positive.  All these connections to people make me feel like I have a place in the universe, that my existence matters.  It gives me motivation to tell others, “You matter too.  If my life has meaning, you helped create that meaning.”

Which is much better than my alternate, depressive thought, “You’re born alone. You die alone.”  Yeah, I’d much rather be “entangled”.