I’m a creative, experienced, multi-purpose artist and art director
who can take projects start to finish in a variety of styles.

Good designs sell –
my designs sell out!

Saturday, May 23, 2015

"Melt"

"Melt" reminds me of a treat I used to get when I lived in Indianapolis -- really good bread with garlic and olive oil, basil leaves, the freshest tomato, and cheese melted under the broiler until it was bubbly and brown.  Mmm...

I may have mentioned that I hated Indiana?  But the bruschetta was good.  All I had to do is walk around the corner.  Around another corner I listened to Hogeye Navvy, a group who sang ballads and pirate songs.  Here's a bad video of them at the actual restaurant where I used to sing, shout, and thump my glass on cue.  Maybe you had to be there, but this video makes me smile and sent me searching youtube for Waltzing with Bears.  It's actually a good band so go to youtube if you want to hear better samples of their harmonies.

Remembering the girl in Indianapolis is like remembering another person.  She was like me, but terribly depressed and lonely, putting all her energy into home repair (which you can see here) because there was absolutely nothing else to do.

I didn't paint.  You'd think that I'd have lots of time to produce masterpieces, but I didn't.  I tried a few times to do something, anything on canvas, but I hated what came out of me.  A knife dripping blood is just one example.  I don't know who'd want that hanging in their living room.  I shoved it in the closet and was kind of relieved when the ex took it in the divorce.  I just melted into bed and became best friends with Oprah.

This too is part of the artistic temperament.  Sometimes I think the price of a painting should include the time spent in the fetal position and the cost of therapy and bon bons.

I've had a few creative deserts in my life.  It's painful.  There came a time when I didn't know if I could paint even if I could force myself to pick up a brush.  I wondered if I had lost my talent, and didn't have enough support to express my fears.

I eventually got back to Ohio, and lived in a big house with an art studio.  You'd think that would unplug the creative block, but it didn't.  It wasn't until I abandoned the studio and pushed a table against a 3-story glass wall facing the woods that I was able to draw -- and then I couldn't stop.  Piles of watercolors started happening even though I'd never mastered watercolors before.  Dog and I took long walks amongst the trees and listened to the hidden waterfall.  I made violet jelly and picked mushrooms.  I talked to ghosts and kept painting.  A man I admire bought one of those paintings and I felt validated.

Art is a joy when things are flowing right, and agonizing when it doesn't.  There's no way to know for sure if a painting will work out until you do it, and it requires courage to find out which it's going to be.  It takes more strength to face the reactions of people who see it, hoping someone will buy it.  I lift my glass and pound the table to all my fellow creatives who face those fears and bring new things into the world.

Apart from creative meltdowns, I melted frozen butter in the microwave, and made rhubarb apple crisp with the last of my apples and the first of my rhubarb.  I'm so glad things are growing again!

18 comments:

  1. So timely, this post. Surrounded by a dozen paintings in various stages of completion and facing an outdoor art show a week away... The edge of panic i can feel coming up is a joyful thing compard to the numbness of not being able to pick up a brush.
    Your unflinching opening of these memory drawers inspires me to spend a little time with similar thoughts... In between rinsing a brush and mixing a new shade. Thanks for posting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wishing you the best with your show! Just remember that nobody knows if there's a piece left on your drawing table, or it could be something you take with you and work on so people can see the artist at work. It's all good stress, right? :)

      Delete
  2. Mmm I can taste that melt Linda and your painting is such a dreamy image..beautiful. I am glad your inner muse is on fire.....I realy admire artists who have to create to make a living. My own sister in law does. I am just so lucky that my "playing"is for fun but it does gives me so much pleasure.Nature is just an endless source of inspiration isn't it. Just look out to the garden or the woods.....and we're away x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At this point I'm doing what I want to do and collecting a paycheck for being responsible. There's a real push-pull about that and who knows how things will be in the future. Playing for fun is a wonderful thing!

      Delete
  3. I never had a creative winter (so far) but I've noticed that the more distraction life throws at me, the need to pick up my sketchbook increases.
    You have dealt with your creative winter professionally. Lovely soft illustration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Paula! I agree that the more life throws at me, the more I need to paint but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way for me. Hopefully winter is over in more ways than one!

      Delete
  4. When my creativity lapses, I'm thankful for inspiration from artists like you! Thank goodness for the internet.
    Lovely illustration, and now I've got apple crisp on the brain.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks, and thanks for helping to kick my creativity into motion too! The apple crisp is all gone now :(

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah, creative deserts! I know them well! Sigh! There's just no way of forcing yourself out of them, either. Damn things!
    And now I'm hungry for bruschetta!!! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At the very least it's good to know I'm not the only one when I get in a creative desert. As for bruschetta, I'm longing for fresh tomatoes again. Thanks Mit!

      Delete
  7. The ex took the knife painting. Ha! I started a sewing project. A purse that was a shark. Eventually, I decided it would be too weird to wear. And I pricked my finger and got blood on it. It is now in a pile of fabric scraps. Half done. Creativity doesn't always pan out. That's for sure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe the shark is something to post for "monster"? Sometimes the rejects have a purpose too, but sometimes that's just because we learned not to do that again! Hey, it's not all about results, it's about the journey.

      Delete
  8. My stomach is rumbling. Darn you, for I have no crusty bread or cheese or rhubarb in the house! I find your narratives so stirring and inspiring. Isn't it funny how nature can jump start those creative juices. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I read about research that actually validates that experience. Your watercolor is beautiful. At first I thought it was a pressed flower collage! Enjoy your apple rhubarb crisp. Mmmmmm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My cupboard is bare too, but maybe I'll go to the store and get bruschetta supplies. My brother got more oatmeal so there can be more crisps. Thanks for the positive reinforcement Bella!

      Delete
  9. I love this painting. I hope you share more of your watercolors!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I also really like your new banner.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks Melissa! Tis the season for me to say outside or paint? Outside usually wins. I'll get to more watercolors sometime :)

    ReplyDelete