"Nostalgia"

I finished painting my computer room this weekend.  It was a lot of work for such a small room, and my stuff is still scattered around the rest of the house.  I'm tired and sore.

This project has me both nostalgic and completely not.  Cobwebs behind the bookcase had to go, and I've felt the same way about a lot of other things that I had stored in that room, like bitchy correspondence I had with certain people that I kept "in case", but those times are long gone and never to return.  At some point I kept these things to remind myself never again.  Now it just seems like reminders of crappy people to whom I don't want to give another second of my life.

My goal is to only return things to the room that have actual value to me.  Maybe this room is even more important because it's the spirituality sector of my house according to feng shui.  I know this because I used to do freelance for a feng shui instructor/counselor.  I don't need that file either.  The pile of recyclables keeps stacking up.

I went through a stack of old phone bills last night.  Almost all of my long-distance calls involved my love life, and that makes me nostalgic and not too.  There have been some kisses worth remembering, but the relationships went sour.  Cleaning this room has made my thoughts swing back and forth, and I remind myself that the purpose of the room is work stuff, not kisses -- but art is love, so it all goes together.

The phone bills went into the discard pile too, but I wrote down the numbers and gave myself a time line.  I was a little torn about the sign manual I created for Lake Metroparks.  I was pretty pleased to come up with all these standards and procedures, but I know I'm never going to actually need this document.  My hoarding/purging qualities are at war.  Keeping the sign manual.

Ultimately, maybe all of this is telling me what I value most?  I'll spend quite a bit of money for long distance phone calls and eventual kisses.  I'm unwilling to let go of good work I did, and the things I learned while doing it.  I enjoyed working at the parks.  Loved the people I worked with.  That's the nostalgia worth keeping.

This illustration is another I did for Mensa.  I'll admit I gave more of myself to the colored illustrations I did for them, but I suppose this goes into the keeping pile too.