God, that was nuts.
Pine trees are brittle, temperamental things, even for a small, skinny
child. I knew it was reckless, even
before a branch broke under my foot and I slid 20-30 feet with my arms
desperately wrapped around the tree trunk, my face pulverized by rough pine
bark, and branches breaking and scraping every other part of my tender young
self until I reached a branch solid enough to thunk me to a pelvis shattering
stop. Picking pine sap out of a scraped
face can teach you a thing or two about safety.
I switched to a slightly sturdier blue spruce, a vantage
point allowing better unobstructed views of people in my empire. There was some kissing that wasn't exactly
private.
I'm going to court this week as a character witness for my
friend who is seeking justice for the school bus accident which killed his wife
a couple of years ago. I've had
multiple lawyer conversations about wife/husband/their marriage, and my/her
husband's loss. The lawyer is pleasant,
but I want to shove these pesky feelings aside and get on with life.
Even so, there's something about the structure of the
questions that forces me to recognize exactly what I lost and what I still
have. Why was I friends with her, and
why do I remain friends with him? I laughed
with him the other day. Oh yeah, he's
funny. Add that to my list of stuff to
say in court. He showed up on time when
we met for lunch. Add
"reliable" and "considerate".
Before the accident, the three of us used to get together
for dinner, sometimes with another friend.
I took a great deal of pleasure observing their happy marriage. They liked and loved each other. How many of us are lucky enough to achieve
that? What could I learn about
relationships from their excellent example?
Maybe my adult self isn't that much different from the
childish voyeur? I wanted, then and now,
insights in how people make their relationships work. Back in the day, we had a party line. That's a phone line that has 2 or 3 homes connected to the same
number. I listened to the Taylor girl
talk to her boyfriend with my hand over the receiver so they couldn't hear my
breathing. I was enthusiastic about
their relationship.
See, I was never mean-spirited about my spying. I wanted happy people. I didn't really appreciate "invasion of
privacy" until I was older. And
while I avidly watched chaste kissing, I was uncomfortable if there was
fondling. I wasn't that kind of voyeur. I just enjoyed the love and romance of it
all. I was so innocent, I didn't even
know anything came after kissing, hugs, and hand holding.
In the spirit of wishing others happiness, multiple
people have told me they're stressed about US politics. I'd suggest we limit how much news we watch,
and do what we can to relax and enjoy life.
I'm going to go to a meeting this week to see what I can do in a
practical way to stop/limit chaos. Let
me offer an American apology to Mexico, Canada, Australia, Muslims, Jews, and
anybody else already, or soon to be, insulted.
Most of us still appreciate our friends. Set us a good example, and some of us will learn about making
relationships work.
How sad that your friend lost his wife and you lost a dear friend Linda. Life sucks at times. Regarding happy marriages in my humble opinion I would say that the first thing you need to be is best friends...the love and loyalty then follows very easily. Genuine kindness also goes an aweful long way. I hope the court case is not too harrowing for both of you. You have nothing to apologise for...just keep writing your great posts. Enjoy the weekend, hugs xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Jane. I'm hoping this case isn't too harrowing too, though my friend has been dealing with it for more than 2 years already. I hope you have a great weekend too!
DeleteAmen to that last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest, I empathize. My deceased friend's husband called periodically and we had exhausting, marathon conversations. Not exactly what you're going through, but...
By the way, do you think he has a little crush on you?
On another note, I love your adventurous childhood stories. So fearless, you were! How has it manifested into your adulthood? :)
I think a lot of us are thinking that last paragraph. I guess I was often stupid fearless as a child. As an adult? I've learned some healthy and unhealthy fears along the way, but I think I'm often willing to try new things.
DeleteI'm laughing a bit at your enthusiastic spying, and I'm glad you survived those trees. I loved to climb too, but I was careful to find strong branches. Now I bight my motherly tongue and cross my fingers as I watch my kids climb. They are cautious, too, and competent, but still, all that height.
DeleteI guess be glad your kids are cautious. I think I'd lose my mind if I saw a kid doing things I used to do!
DeleteI hope you don't mind this extra comment--but I just heard of neighbor kids who are grown up now who used to "tree-hop"_ as they called it. They would see how far they could travel in the woods without touching the ground by going tree to tree. I was both amused and slightly horrified, and I thought of your childhood high risk activities. :)
DeleteI always enjoy reading your childhood memories. I think that, just like now, we would've been good friends when we were kids.
ReplyDeleteI like to watch people too. Sometimes I have to remind myself not to stare.
Sorry for the loss of your friend and what you and her husband are going through now in seeking justice.
Thanks, and thanks for the good thoughts for my friend and me. I think you and I would've had a lot of fun if we could've played together as kids :)
DeleteYour childhood memories are always insightful and interesting.
ReplyDeleteThanks! If I'd only known at the time that I was creating stories for the future :)
DeleteIt saddens to read about your friend's loss. As for trying to find out what makes relationships work, don't we all try one way or another. Unfortunately relationships in a different meaning is under attack by present days leadership. All the rest of us can do is extend our hands out, as you do.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if we all put out our hands then things might work out alright in the end? Thanks for the good thoughts.
DeleteI remember as a young child, the party lines also. You'd have to check if someone was on, before you could make your own call. Now I never even use my land line!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear your sad story. Hope everything works out as well as it can. I think you are right about too much disheartening and dividing news. There are friends with extremely different political views on Facebook, and it can be difficult to not get riled up. All we can do right now is to try and make the world a kinder place in our own sphere of influence!
Absolutely! May we all put real effort into our spheres of influence!
ReplyDelete