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Sunday, March 1, 2015


I think "reflection" should be an easy post for me, but I've been fighting it.  Maybe there are too many other things in my mind, or because I already did a post for "mirror" here.  I've decided to just repost that art instead of fighting the art plus the words.  I wish I'd painted it on something better than bond paper since it's kind of wrinkly.

I guess my struggle with this post is that I feel like venting about multiple people, but that goes against my general goal of keeping things pleasant here.  Do you really want to read my bitching about people you don't know?  I didn't think so, and I don't want to see a bitchy post in my records a year from now.  It's hard to write a post that reflects my higher nature while my baser self speaks loudest in my mind.

When I’m operating at my best, people around me reflect my optimism, energy, and enthusiasm.  When I’m at my worst, people are unwilling, angry, and stubborn.  It’s a big responsibility to be so powerful.  We’re all that powerful.  We all effect the people around us, and we're all effected by them.  I often think we're not much different than a hive of bees.  People just have wars instead of swarms, and often with less reason.

I had a girlfriend that brought out my best.  We danced, laughed, had in-depth conversations, and encouraged each other's creativity.  I felt more alive when we were together.  I thought it was all her because I wasn't like that without her.  She surprised me when she said she wasn't like that without me.  She moved to California and I felt like she took the best part of me with her.

We're lucky when we find someone like that in our lives, but somehow we've got to find those parts of ourselves with or without seeing our potentials reflected by someone else.  It's harder to do by ourselves sometimes, and worse yet when someone only brings out our worst.

We're all made of light and dark.  We all have the capacity to better the world or destroy it.  It can be in small ways or large.  I watched people watching my friend dancing and saw the smiles on their faces.  It wasn't just that my friend was pretty and sexy.  People shared her joy.  That's a gift.

I want to feel joy, and want to share it with others.  I want people to feel better because I spent time with them.  That gets so much harder to do when I'm feeling dragged down by other people's negativities and stupidities.  My self-reflection gets bogged down by it and I forget about striving for my best.  I've been escaping life every evening in Robin Hobb books (which I recommend if you like the fantasy genre).

Sometimes I have to weed out some of the people in my life.  It's painful because I'm loyal to a fault, even when that loyalty is detrimental.  Those losses give me time for people who are more supportive.  Sometimes I don't know whether to fix relationships or abandon them.  I suppose it all comes down to what we see about ourselves reflected in their eyes?



  1. Somehow, in my crazy unpredictable world, I have been missing your blog. By missing, I mean both physically and emotionally, for every time I get the chance to indulge in them, I am glad. You always bring a different, fresh and insightful spin to the word you are writing about. Often, in a way that I hadn't thought about. Thank you for making them available to me. You are one of my favorite authors and artists. <3

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  3. Aw thanks Cindy! That means a lot to me. Hugs!

  4. I always appreciate your honesty and your ability to be introspective about what's happening "out there" in your life, Linda. I've also been 'therapy-ing' myself for years now with journals, Tarot readings, questions and answers written to myself...and when I look back over them, I see the same issues repeating themselves, over and over and over. It's made it very clear to me WHAT my own core issues are in this life...and the choices I need to make. I'm making slow progress: there's nothing like the Chinese Water Torture of repeated scenarios and issues to make one willing to try something--anything--different. Hang in there, my dear. ♡

  5. I understand too well about the repeated scenarios. If we can only figure out how to break a cycle we can move into the next cycle of repeat scenarios, but at least those will be a step forward? I always appreciate your wisdom Susan. We don't get wise without having to work through stuff. I suppose we're supposed to remember that life isn't the destination but the journey.

  6. That's a really interesting story about you and your friend bringing out the best in each other. I wonder did it have to do with certain mutual qualities you were bringing to the relationship--a lack of envy and competitiveness, simply being glad to enjoy the best in the other? Anyway, there are a lot of things to think about in this post. Thanks!

  7. I've been thinking just along these lines lately - noticing that when I'm "up", the world is aligned nicely, but when I'm "down" it all goes to pot! You're right, we are powerful. I had a good friend like the one you describe, only I was the one who moved away. i miss her!

  8. I think the lack of competitiveness with my friend might have been a factor. We were both genuinely happy for each other's successes and happiness. May everyone find a friend like that! I'll work on my attitude so the people around me are "aligned nicely". Thanks for the comments!

  9. Self reflection in your musings about reflections....genius! Love the image, too.

  10. Been biting my tongue a lot lately, keeping a tight lid on the other stuff so that I don't keep banging my head against too many brick walls. Good thing there's art to relieve the pain- That's my reflection on things for today. Nice work here, both times! ;o)

  11. I think biting your tongue might be better than the teeth grinding I've been doing lately since I really don't want to explain it to my dentist. Here's to hoping we both see sunnier days soon Michele!