"A"

I can't swear that I didn't reuse some words in this piece.  I tried to pay attention, but proofreading isn't one of my better skills.  I took this week's prompt as a test of how many A words I could think up.  I'll admit I started cheating, but sometimes getting a word off the computer reminded me of quite a few more words lurking in my mind.  I also remembered words that I couldn't define.  I can't really explain why I'd know a word exists without knowing how to use it.  I'm not sure I'll ever really understand my own brain, but I continue to look at it as an interesting object worth studying.

I started another painting, but it isn't far enough along to show it to you yet.  Instead, let's look back at the year that was.

I'm reminded that I've spent much of the last year obsessed with the news.  I try to ignore it, but I can't.  Sometimes my obsession leaked into my posts.  I tried to keep that at a minimum because I like to get along and share happier thoughts.  Some of the things I wrote about in the last year feel like they happened a super long time ago.  Did I testify in court in February?!  I'm pretty sure that was at least 5 or 6 years ago.  Went to the cheese factory with Bro2?  That had to be in some other year too.  Some things feel so immediate I can't believe they happened months ago.  I'm also reminded of things that I didn't discuss but were seeping through the tone of my posts.

I lost 3 friends in 2017.  Two died, one was very old, one was too young.  The third friend is just going in a different direction with different values and priorities than me.  It happens.  It's sad.  I wish him well.  I found out another friend died a couple of years ago.  I hadn't kept up with him, but I'd kept him in my heart.  Even though he died a while ago the fact of his death is new to me.  I'm feeling my own mortality.

I ranted about wildlife more than is seemly, which is ironic coming from a life-long environmentalist.  I even married a professional environmentalist at one time.  That was a mistake, but hey, live and learn.  My deer and groundhogs are safe from my murderous thoughts, still brimming over with glossy health.  I expect they'll demolish this year's garden and I'll probably complain about it.

I wrote a book.  I even sent out a number of query letters to publishers.  I still think the book should be published, but I didn't send enough queries.  I just collapsed on my momentum.  I mean really, I already devoted all that time writing the thing.  Why do I have to put in energy to sell it?  Besides, it's a non-fiction effort on a topic I want to forget (working for Religion).  I'm adjusting my attitude about this starting next week.

I painted this year, real paintings that I'm proud of myself for creating.  I did some illustrations for magazines.  That felt good.  Sometimes I wrote about making art too.

Mostly, I think the past year was focused on decluttering my mind, pulling out past issues that never seem to die and trying to find a new way forward, taking time to breathe and evaluate what really matters to me.  I've spent a lot of time studying better ways to accomplish these goals too.  I'm pretty sure those topics will come up in some future posts.

Wishing everyone a happy, successful, productive 2018!

"Home" 2

The big day is over and the garbage truck has already come and taken away the ripped up wrapping paper and turkey bones.  I thought I'd take a moment to look back in the splinter of time before the new year and my new broken resolutions.  This is a stretch for "home", but Illustration Friday didn't give me a new word for the week -- which is a real shame since I had a day off and could've spent some time on it.

I've done an index like this every year since I started blogging.  The original idea being that I needed a way to glance back at what I'd posted, then it just seemed like a good idea and I continued doing it.  Though to be perfectly honest I didn't keep up with it this year, which meant that I had to go back through a year of posts to pick up all my thumbnails.

It was a good way to spend the day.  2014 at a glance seems like a really long year, but I had some good moments along the way.  I took trips and saw important people I hadn't seen in too long of a time.  I made some new art, some of which I'm really proud of making.  I had some insights, relived some memories, enjoyed my friends, got through work irritations.  That's all life.

We all do some variation of the same kinds of things within a year, but I think we mostly go through the steps unconsciously, just doing and living without really taking stock of any of it all that much.  Individual days just aren't that important or exciting.  Yet that's all our lives are, isn't it?  A long series of uninteresting days which are hopefully pleasant enough to make our lives generally enjoyable.

I guess I'm starting to understand a little of the themes that I've blogged?  Individual days, past or present, that are easily overlooked and forgotten.  But within those days, there's something which makes that day matter.  We just have to make them memorable or important in order to keep learning and growing. 

Today I had lunch with Tim.  I told him about the idjit at another restaurant who fell apart when I gave $20.05 for a bill of $10.03.  The manager had to handle the transaction since I wanted a 10 dollar bill and 2 pennies instead of a mess of change and small bills.  After Tim and I laughed about the past idjit, today's cashier tried to give me the wrong change three times.  The humor wasn't lost on Tim.  The manager had to take over the cash register at this restaurant too.

See it's a little thing, but I could write a whole post about people lacking basic math skills, America's dismal education, the fact that we let people like this vote -- or I can laugh.  All those little moments are opportunities to decide whether or not we're going to be happy people, and we get those moments all the time.

But I gotta admit 2014 was a hard year.  Too many deaths, too many challenges, and I'm glad it's over.  Looking forward to 2015!!  Wishing everyone a good year!!

"Fresh"

My 200^th post!  Woo hoo!!  I never could’ve imagined it when I started blogging in 2010.  I was “Adrift” at the time, and the Illustration Friday word for the week fit me perfectly.  Looking back on 200 posts I realize that this blog has been both a personal and cultural diary of the times.

Starting with “Adrift”, I was laid off like a lot of people.  I was upset with the gulf oil spill.  My dog died, my friend died, my basement flooded.  I figure that was enough to depress anyone, so I wrote about happier times in my life when I went camping with my family or ate breakfast with Grandma.

I was still laid off and depressed in 2011. Another friend died. A big tree fell down in my yard. Looking over my posts for the year, I think I was trying to remember the people and events that formed me and my place in the universe. I remembered jobs I had and things I learned along the way. I put my art in a gallery and recounted disappointments in people and relationships. I had a lot of migraines.

I was more actively living in the world in 2012. I was working regularly again, and because I work for a religious organization, my environment made me think about spirituality in different ways. Because I work in an office, I started thinking about relationships between people too.

This year, the boss died and my world changed dramatically when I got promoted. You may all thank me for not discussing the finer points of dealing with personnel or databases, but those topics have been foremost in my mind this year. It’s been crazy, and my posts have often been more rushed than I’d like, but I’m happy that I’ve still managed to post every week. I also notice that I did more hearts than usual this year.

Blogging has been a pleasure, and thanks to all of you who have been with me on the journey. I love seeing your comments and appreciate it when you give me new things to think about. I love visiting your sites and seeing what’s going on in your mind and life too. Thanks especially to Mary Lou who got me started with blogging in the first place.

Here’s to hoping for another 200 posts for all of us!

…Oh yeah, “Fresh”… hm… Well, there was a guy who got fresh with me in college and I decked him, but I suppose that’s hardly the story to tell? At the time I got a lot of flack from my friends for “overkill”, but I’m very belatedly feeling kind of pleased with myself for knocking Dave out. He deserved it. Thankfully I haven’t felt a need to deck anyone else in a long time.

I’ve got fresh food growing in my garden and ate my first tomatoes of the year. Yay! I ate a blueberry off of a bush yesterday and felt summertime and happiness spread through my system. We’ve gotten a lot of rain in Ohio lately, and the world is fresh and green. Are these enough “fresh” thoughts?