I watched Dr. Phil yesterday. I’m not recommending it. My mind rebels when I see how some people treat each other. Yesterday he talked to people who say Bill Cosby drugged and raped them. I don't want to believe it, but I think it's true. The man who made me laugh as a child is a sociopath. He got away with criminal behavior for decades.
Tom went out with my friend in college. He asked me out after they quit dating. I asked if she minded. She said, "Uh, well..." "I don't need to go out with him. I'll just say 'no'." "It's okay." "No, really..." "It's fine. Go out with him."
So I went out, but I told him I had a lot of homework and needed to be home by 10:00. He was handsome and charming. He had lots of money and spent close to $300 on dinner. Considering this was back in the 80s, that really was a lot of money.
I enjoyed the evening. Let's do it again -- but he pulled up to his house instead of mine. Touch, grab, slap, "Take me home!" "Do you realize how much I spent on you tonight?!" "I'm not a prostitute!" Wrestling match, aided on my side by his seat belt. I escaped and slammed the car door -- as luck would have it, on his hand. The door mechanism went around the bone in the back of his hand and effectively immobilized him.
Through his open sunroof I could hear him yelling, screaming, and threatening for a few blocks as I raged through the worst section of town in 4" heels and my best dress. A group of very rough men stood outside a bar and watched me storm past. An older man stifled a smirk and I almost smiled in return. Ah, sometimes I miss my younger self.
I told my friend about my misadventure and she said, "Yeah, he did that to me too." What??!!! "How could you let me go out with him?" "We--elll, I didn't think he'd do it to you too." Thanks one hell of a lot.
Tom was at a party a couple months later with an industrial-looking sling. Mutual friends told me he'd had to have surgery on his hand. No regrets on my end. He confronted me and I said if he didn't vamoose I'd tell everyone exactly how his hand got damaged. Maybe someone would like to damage your left hand too? I spoke loudly enough to kill his social life. I'm not absolutely sure, but I heard he got beat up that night.
Tom was handsome, smart, charming, and wealthy. Why did he think he could buy me, and failing that, rape me? I'm thankful I got away. I wish Bill Cosby's victims had gotten away too. Sadly, I believe them. There are villains in the world. Sometimes the villains are handsome, charming, wealthy, and famous. I wish the victims had felt safe enough to speak up sooner so there would be fewer women hurt.