The power went out when I was sleeping the other day. Harumpf.
I rolled over and went back to sleep.
1 1/2 hrs of extra sleep later, there still wasn't any power. I thought I'd watch tv since I couldn't do
my usual internet stuff. Oh. Yeah.
Well, my brain isn't the sharpest first thing in the morning.
Thankfully, it wasn't a real cold day. I read a book while my puppy warmed my feet
until the electric guys showed up. I
watched with interest as they maneuvered a cherry picker into my back yard and
worked on my lines in a torrential down pour while I drank tea inside, counting
my blessings I didn't have to fix electrical lines.
The power still didn't come on for hours. I had computer withdrawal. There's so many ways to waste time online,
and I'm clearly not self-disciplined enough to stop getting my dopamine
fixes. The holidays are over, it's time
to make a plan for the future. Or a
plan to get a plan? Ooh, email! Hmm, a documentary on Jeffrey Daumer. I can make a plan tomorrow, right?
I used to toss a leaf on the water and observe where it
went. Another leaf at the same entry
point would go somewhere else. All the
water was running in the same direction, but the leaves didn't follow the same
path. The Tao of Pooh, or maybe it was
Te of Piglet, says to be like the leaf on the water. Don't worry about other leaves. Don't fight the current, floating is easy
and takes you where you need to be.
In this context, making a plan is hard for me right
now. I'm afraid if I don't get one
together soon, bad things will result, or good things will be delayed. Yet, the distractions in life are also the
journey. Educational videos online help
me sort my thoughts and discard some baggage.
Emails are helpful and/or supportive.
Maybe the best possible use of my time is what feels good to do right
now?
I pulled a muscle in my arm. I re-injured it because I overdid it again. Maybe my arm would be better by now if I
just sit down and chill a while? But
no, I slipped on the last basement step, spraining my ankle and foot. I figure the power outage was the universe
forcing me to take it easy. I've
finally decided to cooperate with the master plan.
I have ideas for the future, but I've been fighting with
myself about what I'm going to do. Some
of these ideas will take a long time to complete and require research, but I
want to make money now! So, will
I waste time fighting myself, or just do what my heart wants to do? I betcha I'm not the only one having this
kind of internal dialogue.
I got an email from a friend who is "working towards
independence". If I know this guy,
his independence will turn out great
because he's driven. He didn't detail
what he's doing, but I can picture it.
I feel enthusiastic for him.
That enthusiasm for him makes me feel more motion within myself for my
undefined goals. See, the internet
isn't a waste of time (entirely), it's just a rock in the river bumping me in a
new direction.
