Mom posted a test on facebook about instinctual preferences. I was procrastinating, so I took the 10 question quiz and found out that I transcend gender and society. Woo hoo!
I told Bro it was an easy test. I mean really, which is cuter, kitty or puppy? Obviously a dog in any form always wins. Bro said he'd pick kitties. He then made me watch kitty flicks. Okay, I laughed. He likes anything on youtube by zefrank. He smiled when I told him some of you said nice things about his elephant drawing, so he contributed more drawings for this post.
I'm feeling much happier this week because the magazine editor who sent me the icky article about women said she respected my objections and sent me a sensitive and funny story from a dad with an autistic son. Yay! She approved my rough layout and I'm excited and happy again. This way beats trying to trick or beg myself into wanting to do the other article.
I was very aware of my moods when I thought of the magazine project and work this week. My job pays bills and adds lines to my face. I do my best, but I sit through meetings where people disagree and leave me frustrated. I spend a lot more time with reports and numbers than I do with creative projects, and for the creative parts, I often give art direction to people who just don't care about doing it as well as I would.
Having a real job gives me freedom to seek work for pleasure instead of the paycheck. I felt upset when I felt my pleasure getting snatched away because of the article's content. I was elated when I got the better, alternate article. Hmm... are my moods telling me something about what my heart wants me to do?
|Bro had to explain to me|
how a dead rat = love
I felt joy at the Detroit Art Museum last year when I saw a painting by Raphael. Another time, I was invited to the restoration area of the Cleveland Art Museum. A painting was laying on a table, ready for repair, and my heart pounded even before I realized it was a Rembrandt. My mouth fell open and I was literally panting. I've never done that with a budget report. My heart actually ached at the damage to the painting and the previous, flawed "restoration". Seeing the painting out of its frame made me feel even closer to Rembrandt. This is how he saw it centuries ago and I felt privileged at the intimacy.
Old Masters make my heart happy, so I need to spend more time with them. I think I'll go to the art museum soon and soak up inspiration.
Mostly, I'm thinking everyone needs to do what makes them happiest. Maybe you combine work and pleasure. If not, hopefully you find time to do what makes you happiest when you're not working. When we feel joy in what we're doing, we know we're doing the right things.