I'm going to a baby shower today. It's a second try for the parents after a heartbreaking miscarriage, so this baby is anticipated even more than most first-time parents anticipate, hope, and fear. This baby is one of 2 that will float in the fringes of my life in December. Both of these babies will be adored by everyone in their worlds. All of the parents are healthy, mature, nurturing, competent, smart, attractive... everything we want for children. I see bent dandelions in their futures, and I feel happy for their happiness.
And I'll admit, a little loss that I'm not getting flowers anymore. Dad died when I was a teenager and Mom worked 2nd shift. My sisters were old enough to be mostly out of the house, and somebody had to care for the babies.
At 16, I did what I had to do, but I didn't really know what that was supposed to be. I ate more teething pretzels than they did because I liked them. A little spoonful of apricot for you, then you, (they're twins) then a big spoon for me because I liked that too. They could have all the peas or chicken and rice.
I tore my hair with desperation when they wouldn't stop crying, and put them in warm laundry on top of the dryer until they finally, finally went to sleep. It's a wonder they didn't smother in the laundry. When my sisters breezed through to criticize about diaper rash, I suggested they could change some diapers too. (There may have been some extreme swearing and objects thrown when they laughed and went out the door.)
I couldn't take a bath alone because the kids would run around and get in trouble so we all took baths together. I had to go to the bathroom? We all go. They were potty trained really young. Poop in the water! Let's all gather round and congratulate each other! Yay! No more diaper rash!
I canned red cabbage this week and thought about how I tried to get pack those kids with vitamins. I added carrots, apples, and raisins to the cabbage sweeten it up and they loved it. We'd go to the grocery store and maybe I was the only one who got requests for parsnips and broccoli?
I lost Bro3 at the mall. I lost him at the beach. He was always running in the wrong direction. If I chased him, Bro4 went in another direction. They laughed to see me running unless I blew up. Teenagers aren't really known for having it all together in the first place, and losing children is panic for anybody.