"Skull"

I have a very tiny bird skull in my office with a jawbone as thin as a thread.  I don't think anyone notices it or the vase of feathers.  They might see the nest with the clay bird, but I don't think they notice that either.  My natural history section is filled with things I found in the garden at work.  It gives me something real to look at when I'm stressed at work.

There was a movement in Dutch art when artists would show a dead leaf or flower, or a skull, or something to show that life is fleeting.  The Dutch were wealthy, and it was a way to remind people to focus on what mattered.  We're at a similar place these days, people are caught up with what they have materially without thinking enough about the lessons they need to learn or the legacy they'll leave behind.  It's too easy to get caught up with all the obvious things we want without thinking about what we need.

"Medieval Times" in Baltimore, MD

For me it isn't about material things.  It's getting too caught up with deadlines and other people's needs without any time for myself.  I hit an invisible wall and took a vacation, driving to DC, Baltimore, the ocean, and upstate NY.  That's a lot of driving in Pennsylvania, an endlessly interminable state with a lot of mountains just to make it even longer.  I'm sure I saw more headstones than houses in that state, and a lot of the people I saw were Amish, people who are in their way the antithesis of materialism.

All that driving by myself gave me a lot of time for thinking, but thinking wasn't making me happy.  Once in a while that little bird skull flitted through my mind.  What matters to me?  How can I arrange me life so those things that matter are a part of my daily existence?

House in Lily Dale, NY

I enjoyed seeing my friend in DC and my cousins in Baltimore, and enjoyed the activities we shared, but I was still looking for rest.  A coworker loaned me her Lake Chautauqua, NY condo and I unsuccessfully tried to force serenity.  I needed to get in touch with myself, but couldn't seem to get there.  A speeding ticket from a cop who looked like my ex-bf didn't help.  Neither did my daytrip to Lily Dale where a spiritualist told me to leave because I wasn't "receptive".  Really, who gets rejected at Lily Dale?!

I picked up shells at the side of the lake and grouched to myself about the shells' dirty shades of brown.  I painted the shells blue to match the color scheme of my friend's condo, then painted words on them.  The resulting arrangement was my thanks to her for loaning me the getaway.  I supposed that was more meaningful than the inspiration I wanted to have for my next great painting, so I packed up and left.

Sunset at Lake Chautauqua, NY

I stopped at a "Cheese House" and the lady tried to sell me Finnish cheese.  I asked for something local, but she said her father quit making cheese in the 40s.  "The best cheese is from Ohio."  Not just any Ohio cheese, but from my area.  I bought some Middlefield cheese and joked with her about my mom, or was it Grandma, who liked baby swiss, saying that aged swiss was a waste of money because all you get is holes.  The Cheese House lady said the holes were free, and I felt my childhood come back to me when an old man said exactly the same thing as I watched a big ball of wet cheese wrapped in cheesecloth get pulled out of a huge stainless steel vat near the place where my ancestors lived for generations.

I spent the rest of my time chopping up a peck of (unpickled) peppers I bought at a farmer's stand, then making dill pickles.  (7 quarts)  I'm finally starting to feel that relaxation that I was trying so hard to force on my travels.  I'm glad I went visiting, but I'm glad to be home.

Happy to see a palm tree in Ocean City, MD

"Suspense"

I’m slanted against “suspense” today because I stayed up late last night reading a suspense novel about twins, one good and one evil. People were killed, a mad race to the bank, betrayals -- the standard recipe for suspense novels. The book was slightly better than usual, but really wasn’t worth the sleep deprivation, and maybe I’m feeling a little cranky. Maybe I’ll talk about a different kind of suspense…

Last month I talked (here) about discovering a previously undiscovered fossil when I was a child. My friend Phil liked that post, and it dawned on me that since Phil is a scientist at a university, maybe he could get someone to identify an odd little skull I found by the river. I sent him photos, and he obligingly forwarded them to the biology department. I was in a happy state of anticipation until sometime later, Professor of Biology Don sent me this:

“Much of the skull is missing but a colleague and I agree that it is the skull of a raccoon.”

What?!! I had it firmly in my mind that I had discovered a prehistoric mutant rodent. Well, at least I would’ve been thrilled if it was a prehistoric mutant rodent. Raccoon?!! Professor of Biology Don must be seriously mistaken. I quickly Googled raccoon skulls to prove him wrong. Em. Hmmm. Oh all right. It’s a raccoon skull. Drat. That’s seriously disappointing. Who cares about raccoon skulls? Probably the only interesting thing about it at this point is the fact that the mice hadn’t eaten it. I thought I’d throw the skull away, but somehow my hand just wouldn’t do it. I wrapped it back up and put it tenderly in its box. Never let it be said that I’m unwilling to accept new knowledge. I thanked Don and Phil, and I am thankful to have one mystery set aside. Would’ve liked it more if wasn’t a varmint skull, but I bow to facts.

Even our disappointments can lead to new inspirations. I doodled raccoons while watching tv, and doodles turned into this Charley Harper-inspired critter. I admire Charley’s work, but it’s rather tough for me to pare things down to absolute essentials most of the time.

The suspense of discovering what the identity of the little skull is over, but I’m thinking maybe that anticipation was pleasant enough to look for something else to identify. There has to be more rock and skeleton oddities lying around in the woods…