"Spiral"

After spending most of two days shoveling snow, I thought it would be a good idea to put that de-icing stuff by my door.  One step outside, and shlumpf!  I was on my ass and banged my head.  Sometimes life isn't kind to me.

Ohio gets snow, sometimes a lot of it, but most of the snow usually falls to the east and/or south of me.  This time, I got all of it.  I shoveled my drive 3x Friday, about 4-6" each time.  By the time my puppy had to do her last night piddle, the snow was so deep she got buried in snow.  She and I agree winter sucks.  Saturday, the snow was deeper than my knee boots are tall.  I repeatedly worked up a sweat while simultaneously freezing.

I stare out the window and type very few words, hypnotized by fat, spiraling snowflakes.  Griping about shoveling is just recreational.  The weather report said I'm not getting a thaw before Monday to erase all this white stuff.  I had to shovel it, and I accepted that.  It's my winter exercise plan.  The sore knot in my shoulder is just a reminder that I'm healthy enough to move mountains, or in this case, create 5' mountains of white matter.

I watched my neighbors handling their snow problems.  A teenaged boy tentatively poked at the stuff and weakly tossed a couple cups worth of snow onto the pile, resting for a few minutes before doing it again.  His dad cleared yards in the time the kid did a foot.  Meanwhile, the woman next to them spent hours with her snow blower.  She was extra considerate and neat.  My crabby neighbor actually joked with me while we shoveled.  A guy drove down the road with a plow, saw me shoveling, and cleared the apron of my drive.  Bless that guy.  I'm not even sure who he is, but he seemed to think my grateful wave of thanks was payment enough for his kindness.

The roads were awful when all this snow was coming down, and I didn't have a choice about being in the mess.  People were understanding and resigned.  Someone got stuck, and a woman jumped out of her car and helped push, leaving her car in the middle of the backed up street.  Nobody honked.  I think we were all glad helping each other still exists.

Lately, I've seen too much in the news about how divided the US is.  I've been appalled at how many people want women barefoot and pregnant and how some people talk so hatefully about women, minorities, and gay people.  Get rid of environmental protections, public school, and overtime pay.  Yet, there are still people willing to help a stranger stuck in snow.  Just as more people voted for Clinton in the election, I have to think that most people are decent and cooperative.

There's something about nature dumping a load of snow to make us stop our usual self-interested vanities and become a community again.  Sitting inside and watching snow spiral down from the sky lowers my blood pressure and gives me a little hope that things have a natural order, that human nature isn't as bad as it seems to be on tv.  Maybe things would be better if Washington, DC got more snow?

"Space"

"I'm kinda bummed I missed the flood this year" I thought to myself while I drove down a twisting, scenic road next to the river.  I smiled to myself because I'm not sure if people would laugh at my dialect or feeling.

Take this dialect quiz to see where you're from (sorry, it's just the US).  I am clearly from Cleveland, but I could go to Toledo or Detroit without an interpreter.

At my first college party a boy said, "You're from one of those W cities by Cleveland, aren't you?"  ?!  That's a pretty specific 10 square miles in the world, and people on TV talk like me.  Mostly.  But even westsiders think I have an accent.  I don't see it since they're the ones who talk like farmers.  Sometimes people even ask if I'm British.  That's people from Cleveland, mind you.  No offense to my British friends, but I'm pretty sure you know you talk funny.  I know because I've watched all the Harry Potters.  Besides, everybody I've known since I was a kid talks my way.

As for missing the flood... well, I love the spring floods and we haven't had a good one in a long time.  Part of it's that people see my river in the summer and say ignorant things like "Aw, that's a pretty, little crick" without realizing that they're insulting and underestimating a force that I love.

Okay, it doesn't have a whole lot of water in it the summer, but it is the fastest river in Ohio -- which has to count for something.  When it freezes solid like it did this year, with many tons of snow on it, I expected a big event, but alas, I missed it.  It's a mere 6' deep now and the ice on the sides is nonremarkable and melting fast.

When I was about 10 or so, I was listening to the neighborhood men laying bets on when the ice would break.  We heard a low, moaning, creak in the dark night -- but nothing happened so they kept betting and drinking.  Creeeeak.  Hmmm... the men revised some bets.  CRACK!!!

The water oozed under the ice and we started walking slowly backwards.  The men laughed and popped open more beer.  The water kept coming, so we walked backwards a little faster.  Still coming, then really coming, and we turned around and ran as fast as we could and still barely managed to escape while the river ice folded on top of itself in a roaring blast before it broke free, smashing everything and everyone in its path.

The next day there was mud in some houses and other houses had been rearranged.  Above the river banks huge blocks of ice rose like staggering skyscrapers after the apocalypse.  Climbing those blocks was a terribly bad idea since they were super slick slides straight into the roaring river.  (Which doesn't mean I didn't try before ceding to some common sense.)  The National Weather Service says the record flood was 18' deep, but I could swear I've seen it higher.  Any way you look at it though, it's Nature's orgasm with a lot of water moving as fast as it can to Lake Erie.

Einstein used to stare at a flooding river too.  I don't think it's a coincidence he's the one who came up with E=MC².  I'm not sure how he factored space into this because the mass takes up a different amount of space depending on if it's frozen or fluid -- which was my original thought when I started writing about this, but even I've got to admit that's a really abstract thought even in my own head.

Photos are from a parking lot I was in earlier today.  Keep in mind that stuff has been rained on and melting for days!

"Snow"

In my first year of college, my roommate ran into our apartment and shouted “You have to come outside!”  I was reluctant since I was diligently doing homework.  (Notice my halo.)  When I asked what was going on, she exclaimed “It’s snowing!!!”  I kept doing my homework, but her enthusiasm would not shut up, so I dragged myself away from my latest masterpiece and went outside.  There might’ve been about 10 airborne flakes in the sky.  It was October, and I wasn’t pleased.

“Isn’t it beautiful?!”  Yeah, okay, maybe it was, slightly, but I had to get my homework done.  She danced around in circles, I laughed at her, and it was a nice moment.  She had grown up in the South, and didn’t know snow.  By the end of winter, she was kicking piles of pissed on, pollution-streaked city snow and admitted it wasn’t fun anymore, just like the rest of us who had to trudge to school with wet oil paintings in the icy wind.

Except for a few noticeable weirdos, most people in Ohio have my attitude towards snow.  Aside from wishing for a white Christmas, most of us could do without it for the rest of the year.  I don’t want to hear naturalists and menopausal women rhapsodizing about dressing in layers.  Snow is an obstacle to be borne or overcome.

Sometimes we get one of those absolutely silent days where the world has been transformed into a white on white on blue spectacular that catches your breath.  I’ve been enraptured by the beauty of individual snowflakes clinging to my brightly colored coat.  Individual snowflakes are wonders, but they get together with their pals and make life hard.

Given my surly attitude towards winter, it might surprise you that I’m concerned about climate change.  I should just be happy that it’s mid-December and haven’t had much snow yet.  Okay, I am kind of glad I haven’t had to shovel the driveway, but the lack of winter worries me.  Every year is a little warmer, a little less like winter as I remember it.

When I was a kid, the river froze solid.  I ice skated up and down the river, but kids haven’t skated on the river since I was a kid.  One year my dad shoveled paths through the snow, and I couldn’t see over it.  It was like walking through white tunnels.  The winters of my childhood were white from November to April, with some extra white in October and May.  It just isn’t like that anymore.  It’s mid-December, and I can still pick things in my garden.  Instead of shoveling snow, I should probably cut the grass.

People seem to spend so little time outside these days, I don’t think very many people notice.  Food comes from the grocery store, so they aren’t worried about whether or not bees die off or crops failed last summer.  People notice that oranges cost more this year, but they aren’t connecting the dots that oranges are expensive because fruit trees bloomed too early last spring. 

The US elections are over, and maybe we can start talking again about the things that matter.  I know it was politically useful to deny science and say climate change hasn’t been proven yet, but it just isn’t true.  Scientists do agree that our weather is changing.  We can live without oranges and ice skating, but it’s time to quit the political games and start doing something to protect our home and our future.  I never thought I’d say it, but I want snow.

"Swarm"

Did I say something nice about the weather last week?! It's hard to imagine as I listen to my neighbor gunning his pickup truck over and over as he tries to unstick himself from his driveway. The bottom of his truck is resting on the snow, and he's a little dimwitted about how to rock himself back and forth out of his current situation.

I had to drive into the city today when the snow was falling 2"/hour. That's a lot of snow, on top of the snow we already had, and all the snow that fell 2"/hour while I was pleasantly dreaming. The freeways hadn't been plowed or salted either. Thankfully (just in this case) everyone is out of work in Ohio, so I didn't have to worry about rush hour traffic while I inched along in a white out. For those of you lucky people who don't know what a white out is, it's when you literally can't see anything except white snow in every direction. It would've made as much sense to stick my head in a bucket of white latex paint as to drive to Cleveland today.

I guess we'll just skip over the part of why I was there learning about how "paraphernalia" is a misdemeanor felony in Ohio. It wasn't my paraphernalia. I don't smoke pot, but obviously there's at least one person in my life who does, and someone I just can't leave in a Cleveland jail. Maybe a year's probation, Alcoholics Anonymous, thrice weekly piss tests, and counseling will end up being a blessing in disguise?

But onto a happier subject...

Yesterday the sky was blue for a little while. There was snow on the ground, but it was the manageable kind. Altogether, not a bad day for February, and I watched the birds outside my kitchen window. Then I realized I was watching a robin. Yay! The first sign of spring! (Okay, I see the irony of this considering today's blizzard, but let's stick with the happy thoughts...)

The robin was hopping around on the snow, and I noticed another robin. Then another, and another, and more. It was a swarm of robins! If one robin is good, then a flock of them must be better, right? I'm ready for good things to start happening now. Okay, maybe after I find my driveway under the 15" or so of snow, then happy things! Alright, maybe after my coronary getting rid of those 15" or so, then happy things! Right?!

I drew these little sketches on a paper towel today while waiting in the car outside the Justice Center. Paper towels are terrible for doodling. I really need to keep better emergency drawing supplies in the car. The dead robin at the bottom reflected my general attitude after waiting hours for legal things to get processed, but you'll notice most of the birds are up and hopping around.

Ultimately I am an optimist, and as I was cutting paper for this post a certain someone showed up and shoveled the 15" or so off of my driveway :)

"Phenomenon"

The eye doctor made me look at bright lights with dilated eyes today, and I'm trying very hard not to think of the phenomenon of lights = misery for me. He was quite unhelpful about my recent migraines. He said my eyes are healthy, and I should have someone check out my brain. Go ahead and laugh! I chuckled too.

Since I have bug eyes today, I'm going with the simplest answer for "phenomenon"
since I've already been working on this piece for another purpose. Snowflakes are magical and wonderful, and I love putting them together. Sometimes I like to cut them out of paper like we all did as children -- well, all of us snow-bound children. I like the surprise of how the opened piece of paper will turn out. These snowflakes all started out as little doodles like the one shown at left.

I shoveled my driveway for the first time of the year today. My guess is I'll have plenty to say about snow in the upcoming months, and since I wrote a lot last week, I'm taking my dilated eyes to a quiet corner and letting the world go by for now.

BTW, no matter what size I make the original, this blog wants to make it small. If I enlarge it in the layout mode, it looks fuzzy. Clicking on it takes it to another page which looks cleaner. Anyone know a way around this?