I'm still painting obsessively tiny things, with far too
much detail to be entirely sane. Taking
photos and enlarging them makes me very aware that all of this would be simpler to do in PhotoShop in the first place, or easy to fix things in PS, but
that would defeat the purpose. I want
to spend time with my thoughts and paint brushes. It's meditation.
This painting is related to my recent painting of the box. There were too many things to put
in that box so I painted some folders for topics to be addressed later. Here, the folder on my last job is
opened. It's a work in progress. I feel like I'm spending a stupid amount of
time on what is essentially the background, but yeah, meditation.
Through the process, I own that there were parts of the job
that I really loved. I made real
friends. I got to design and write
printed pieces I am proud of making. I
was very good at juggling numbers and data and people. I saved enough of my earnings to be able to
paint what I want for a while.
Glass half empty or half full? It was also such a hostile environment I had to leave. I obviously still have enough feelings about
that to feel inspired to make a painting about it -- and even so, part of me
feels grateful. Not for the abuse, but
the learning and experiencing in an environment I'd never go to if it weren't
for the paycheck.
We always have a choice about where we put our
attention. I'm pretty sure there are
certain people at the Shrine that I will always remember with loathing -- but
why should I allow those people space in my mind? I realize we don't get to choose our feelings, but we also don't
have to let those feeling take over all the good around us. I can think of my Shrine friends
instead. One of them recently got
married and is having a second baby.
Woo hoo! Happy, happy!
I originally thought painting negative issues would be
seriously depressing and I'd be left with paintings I wouldn't want to look
at. I'm finding the opposite to be
true. I'm loving my paintings. Instead of feeling down, I'm happier. Wrap it up, tie it with a bow, and get rid
of the sh*t. Yay! Documenting past ills lets me quit carrying
them. Even naming my anger is
liberating. Maybe I should become an
art therapist?
Anyway, talisman... "an object thought to have magic
powers and bring good luck."
Saint Ann's Shrine has 1st-class relics Pope-certified as
pieces of bone of Jesus' grandmother.
The chapel and relics fell under my department, and while my title was
officially "Development Director", I preferred to call myself
"Shrine Keeper". The Church
didn't need to know I was inspired by Merlin in Mary Stewart's books*. I was pleased shrine keeping is an actual
job in the 21st century
Religion can be fascinating when viewed from an inside seat
without the indoctrination. I said I'd
put energy into getting my book on the subject published. I'm rather ashamed to say that I haven't
done it. I've been painting, and that
seems more important right now.
However, I have followed through with my walking and actually made it to
my park. I even walked the flattish bit
of the park. I then walked home and
discovered impressive blisters on my feet, preventing me from walking anymore
this week. Are we sure exercise is
actually good for us?
*Mary Stewart's Merlin books are some of my all-time
favorites. They are: The Crystal Cave, The Hollow Hills, The Last
Enchantment, and The Wicked Day.
