As a substitute teacher, I learned that if I came into a
room bothered about stuff, the kids were terrors. If I spread a layer of calm in the room, the kids were angels.
I had one trouble-making girl in multiple classes. One day I watched Jessica with more
detachment than I usually had towards her chaos, then called her to the
teacher's desk while the rest of the class worked on their projects. "You have a lot of charisma", I
said. "What's that?!", she
demanded. Obviously she thought I was
criticizing. "Charm. You're pretty, smart, and people look to you
because you've got something special. When you've got that kind of power, it's
up to you to decide what to do with it."
She looked confused.
I'm sure she thought she was in trouble when I called her to the
desk. "Just think about it. You can be anything you want, and life in
middle school is just a blip in your life.
Use your charisma for something good."
"I get bad grades." Her head dropped and she looked miserable and ashamed. "That's only one kind of smart. You have to be smart to cause this much
trouble. Besides, if you put as much
energy into your schoolwork as you did into getting in trouble your grades
would be better." I could see her
thinking hard.
Months later, I saw her helping another kid with his
lessons. She glanced up and we
understood each other. I smiled and she
looked proud. My heart swelled. It's one of the good things I've done in my
life. I found more kids to help in
similar ways.
I was a good substitute teacher because I could have these
kinds of little moments with bigger impact.
I think I'd be terrible at the long haul of a regular classroom where I
might be expected to keep it up. I
wasn't always at the top of my game, but I cared about those kids. If political leaders cared about kids, would
they be bombing them? Oh, but those
kids don't look like my kids.
Yeah? Well kids are kids. They all have potential. When you hurt them, they grow up and cause
more hurt in the world. I just want to
scream "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"
Yesterday I listened to someone describing what another
teacher said about his students. There
wasn't anything good in it, and he shouldn't be a teacher. He's causing harm that goes beyond however
much math he teaches them. He thinks
he's better than "damned Mexicans" and can't see his attitude makes
him ugly.
I'm upset about the bombing and shooting in the world. See your enemy as a person, and maybe you
can see a solution to your differences.
That's true in the big world, and it's true in our personal lives. On a good day I can de-escalate the drama
around me. On a bad day I can make it
worse. Mostly I want peace on the small
and grand scale.
