I guess IF wants us to keep talking about brains since our
leader neglects his duties of choosing new words. I'm not sure I want to keep talking about this though. As I said recently, "Sometimes I'm sick
and tired of being in my own brain!" The woman I was talking with gave me an incredulous look. I asked, "Don't you ever get sick of
your own thoughts?" Nope. She never did. It was my turn to look incredulous. I can't conceive of such a thing.
Another woman told me she's had a blissed out, happy
life. No problems at all. Perfect family, perfect husband, perfect
kids. I was certain she was deluding
herself, but our mutual friend told me that it's true. None of her people has gotten sick or died,
she's always had plenty of money, never been seriously emotionally or
physically hurt, and has succeeded at whatever she wanted to achieve. How is this possible?! I want her life.
Except in my heart of hearts, I doubt I really want her
life. Well, it would be helpful to have
some of her money. Otherwise, maybe I'd
rather live in my own irritating brain?
I've had more than my share of bad experiences. Sometimes I give myself pity parties. Sometimes I see the positives I got from
those experiences. I'm sure I'm more
sympathetic, empathetic, and interesting because of the life I've had. I'd like an easy life like that happy woman
with the perfect world, but I'm not sure I'd want to trade my intangible
benefits I've gotten from living through stuff.
Or, more realistically, I've already lived through those
things. I can't give them back without
getting a lobotomy. The choice is to
find positives in what I have and to find gratitude for those positives.
I'm sad this week because Rand MacIvor died. He was one of my first followers when I
started this blog. I know some of you
met Rand this way too. I don't know how
he found me, and I was surprised anybody would want to read things I had to
say. He encouraged me when I needed
it. We happily bashed politics
together. He was often silly and we
traded jokes and stories of working as commercial artists in the old days. I looked forward to his messages.
I can be critical of the virtual world we live in. Young people are glued to their phones and
tweet and repost stuff that doesn't matter.
At the same time, I valued my virtual Canadian friend. The web gives us the chance to meet people
across the world. I think this is
especially wonderful for artists who work alone and spend too much time in
their own heads, and in Rand's case, even more important when he couldn't do
art himself anymore. He was failing for a long time so his passing wasn't a
complete surprise, but I feel the loss.
So when I think of the woman with the perfect life who has
never lost anyone special to her? Well,
that's nice for her. At the same time,
I'm glad I got to know Rand. I'm
willing to have today's sadness because it's a sign we actually connected in a
meaningful way. And to all my other
blog buddies, I value you too. Thank
you!
