"Brain 3"

I guess IF wants us to keep talking about brains since our leader neglects his duties of choosing new words.  I'm not sure I want to keep talking about this though.  As I said recently, "Sometimes I'm sick and tired of being in my own brain!"  The woman I was talking with gave me an incredulous look.  I asked, "Don't you ever get sick of your own thoughts?"  Nope.  She never did.  It was my turn to look incredulous.  I can't conceive of such a thing.

Another woman told me she's had a blissed out, happy life.  No problems at all.  Perfect family, perfect husband, perfect kids.  I was certain she was deluding herself, but our mutual friend told me that it's true.  None of her people has gotten sick or died, she's always had plenty of money, never been seriously emotionally or physically hurt, and has succeeded at whatever she wanted to achieve.  How is this possible?!  I want her life.

Except in my heart of hearts, I doubt I really want her life.  Well, it would be helpful to have some of her money.  Otherwise, maybe I'd rather live in my own irritating brain?

I've had more than my share of bad experiences.  Sometimes I give myself pity parties.  Sometimes I see the positives I got from those experiences.  I'm sure I'm more sympathetic, empathetic, and interesting because of the life I've had.  I'd like an easy life like that happy woman with the perfect world, but I'm not sure I'd want to trade my intangible benefits I've gotten from living through stuff.

Or, more realistically, I've already lived through those things.  I can't give them back without getting a lobotomy.  The choice is to find positives in what I have and to find gratitude for those positives.

I'm sad this week because Rand MacIvor died.  He was one of my first followers when I started this blog.  I know some of you met Rand this way too.  I don't know how he found me, and I was surprised anybody would want to read things I had to say.  He encouraged me when I needed it.  We happily bashed politics together.  He was often silly and we traded jokes and stories of working as commercial artists in the old days.  I looked forward to his messages.

I can be critical of the virtual world we live in.  Young people are glued to their phones and tweet and repost stuff that doesn't matter.  At the same time, I valued my virtual Canadian friend.  The web gives us the chance to meet people across the world.  I think this is especially wonderful for artists who work alone and spend too much time in their own heads, and in Rand's case, even more important when he couldn't do art himself anymore. He was failing for a long time so his passing wasn't a complete surprise, but I feel the loss.

So when I think of the woman with the perfect life who has never lost anyone special to her?  Well, that's nice for her.  At the same time, I'm glad I got to know Rand.  I'm willing to have today's sadness because it's a sign we actually connected in a meaningful way.  And to all my other blog buddies, I value you too.  Thank you!

"Transportation"

We finally got a new word!  Wipe 3 weeks from the last lateness tally and hope for future Friday reliability.  Let me briefly shift my irritation to Ohio politicians who passed a $100/year fee for hybrids (electric cars $200) because roads are financed with a gas tax.  I spend about $100/year in gas to give you an idea of how harsh this is.  I suspect the main reason for this tax is fuel-efficient cars are driven by Earth-friendly Democrats.  Grrr.

It's one of those days when the last thing I want to blog about is what's heaviest on my mind.  I notice my burdened brain keeps saying negative things.  Even positive things come out negatively.  Nobody wants to read a depressing post so I keep deleting and starting over -- but maybe negative words is the thing to talk about?

I had a boss who was horrible in so many ways she was called in front of the state board of ethics committee.  Even so, she actually taught me something, which goes to show you can learn from anyone.  She told me to only use positive words.  I was standardizing signs for the park system and thought her directive was impossible to achieve.  "Danger!  Don't lean on the fence" is straightforward.  Everyone understands it, but I wasn't allowed to use words like danger, don't, no, not, etc.  You try it.  What words would you use?*

Some people have the knack for this.  They're perpetually sunny and decorate in pinks and yellows.  They get on my nerves after a while, but they're kind of nice to have around too.  It beats being around people who decorate in black anyway.

It took time to get my mind around positive words, especially when I was around the horrible boss.  I kept thinking she was just making my life unnecessarily hard and words are only words.  I grumbled she only used positive words to manipulate people.  I kept tinkering with my signs and eventually managed to solve the positivity Rubik's cube.  I started making an effort to change the way I speak.  They're only words, but words can make a difference.  Thinking in positives makes for a better life.

I had a later job where I worked with very nice women.  When they talked about TV programs of the night before, they remarked how pretty someone looked, how nice someone seemed to be, how talented, how smart, how wonderful!  I'll admit I looked at these pleasant women with some suspicion at first.  I was used to women sniping at the TV women.  "Can you believe she wore that!"

One of the nice women told me she used to be like that because she grew up with a mother who was depressed and nasty.  The whole family talked in negatives and this nice woman spoke like her mom until she caught herself at it.  She was dismayed and decided to change her ways and spread good around instead.  She said it took her quite a while to master, and now she's a ray of sunshine in the world.  Her positive approach is echoed by others.  We need more people like this.  It's a skill we can all learn and use.

As for my burdened mind, I'll try to think more optimistically.  For those of you who pray, please include Chris in your thoughts.

The model train art is Ad #2 of Mensa's membership renewal campaign.

*Answer:  "Please stay on trail"

"Guitar"

My guitar has butterflies.  This pleases me.  I hope my butterflies don't die in the case from neglect.  Guitars sound better when they're actually played instead of propped in a corner gathering dust.  I'm not a great player, but I'm pretty sure my guitar would prefer inexpert attention than none at all.

Let me apologize again for presidential insults of people and countries with pigment, US allies, or geez, everybody who isn't blonde and Norwegian this week.  What happened to 1960s "make love not war" ideals sung around campfires?  I leaked tears when I listened to this Seeker's version.  I'd like to blame that on menopausal hormones, but I'm just in touch with an earnest wish for a better world.  We should all sing by more campfires.

I refuse to give up my idealism.  We each make the world better with every kind action and word, and even the negatives around us are a chance to learn and make things right.  For instance, this week I've learned the continent of Africa is thriving.  It's far more than famine and AIDS.  Haiti is more than a hurricane disaster zone.  45's "s***hole" comments pushed the media to tell us some positives for a change.  Yay!  Tell us more!

I've complained about public tv's seemingly endless shows about multiculturalism.  It feels racist to complain, but I feel like they're beating me with a stick about an issue with which I'm already agreeable.  Stop lecturing me!  It's like sad puppies or starving children charity ads.  I care about puppies and children, but I'd much rather see something about how a donation results in happy, healthy children/puppies.  Stop miring us in negatives.  Teach us about positives.  Teach us how to get to the positives.

The truth is, we're attracted to negatives.  A traumatic, abusive bond with someone can be far more enduring than a loving relationship, but time with an abuser is time that wasn't spent with someone loving.  Lately I've noticed on my antenna tv there are 2 stations devoted to murder 24 hrs/day, not to mention the other stations' murder shows.  I'm sure cable tv must be far worse.  We're rapt with attention over disasters, abuse, and strife, and media outlets will continue to offer this kind of thing because it keeps our viewership better than "good" subjects.  It takes effort maintaining positivity in a negative world, but I'm convinced it's worth the effort because surrounding ourselves with good people and experiences leads to happier lives for everyone.

I met a young woman outside a store where we were both waiting.  We discovered we shared a birthday that day.  I told her she was pretty.  She was taken aback that I'd say something nice, and then worried I was hitting on her.  I laughed and said I like boys.  We chatted and laughed some more for maybe 15 minutes before we left in different directions, never to see each other again, but with positive memories.

It was such a simple thing.  She was pretty, and nice too.  She was pleasant to talk with when I was burning time.  One small action that didn't cost me anything for a young, black woman who told me she needed a kind word that day.  My bit for race relations might be a helpful memory for her when she listens to racist comments.

Haters get more coverage than the majority of people who don't share those views.  What if all of us who care about others make more effort to say nice things to each other?  Open doors, treat people like people, express some curiosity about them?  Listen to their stories, or just smile?

Kumbaya...