"Tattoo"

I suppose we should all be happy that so many people have tattoos.  They're supporting art.  Unfortunately a lot of it's bad art and can interfere with getting an x-ray, but the trend lets more people suffer for their art and since I sometimes suffer making art, I like feeling understood.  If you've got a tattoo and you're happy, then I'm happy for you.

Onto other things.  I'm going to paint my computer room, the room where I store the bulk of my art supplies, reams of paper, rocks, etc., etc.  I've spent my weekend moving most of it into other rooms for the duration.  Moving some of this stuff brought up emotions, memories, dust, and dog hair.  I swear I'll move out of the house before painting this room again!  Today, I'm moving onto spackling water damage from a previously faulty gutter.  I watched a nice Australian man's video about how to do it.  I wish he were here to do it for me.

What I really want to do is show another piece that got printed in Mensa's 50th anniversary magazine.  The article is about word play, including "peppering Saracens".  I showed the magazine to the ladies who work in my department.  I got my atta girls and considered my bragging done.  Another woman came in so I showed her too.  She was excited and asked to show it around the building.  I let her do my bragging for me.

Maybe you get lots of positive reinforcement.  Betty showing off my work made me face that I've gotten a lot of negatives.  Art can be a competitive, brutal business.  You often get lots of criticism and revisions, and "good job!" is seldom in the vocabulary.

I spend my days with data at work.  The ladies in my dept know I've worked as an illustrator, but the other people didn't.  I liked it that way, maybe because I've spent so much of my life identifying myself first and foremost as an artist.  It was/is so much of how I think of myself, it's nice to be known for other traits -- or maybe I just didn't want to deal with more criticism and suggestions?

I went home that day feeling mighty pleased with myself.  People stopped me in the hall to say they were impressed.  I've been waiting a long time to be able to show this magazine and it felt good to be praised for it.  I felt a flicker of life and hope inside. They especially liked the parts that I spent stupid amounts of time doing.  (They loved my forks!)  Joy, joy, joy and I started to remember I really like getting this kind of feedback.  It motivated me to go into art for a living.

I've often been told to be demure.  Don't be so full of yourself.  Fact is, I think most of us beat ourselves up instead of bragging, and abuse isn't a good motivator.  If you want to get anywhere, sometimes you have to sing your own praises.  People who have my best interests at heart will sing them with me and share in the happiness I feel in my accomplishments.

Lots of people want to break into the art field.  Go for it.  I wish you happiness and success.  Don't let my artistic PTSD stop you.  I'm enjoying having a paycheck doing other things and exploring art as a pleasure again.  I'm happy for doing art I wanted to do for this magazine and pleased to cash the check!