Looking over my past year, painting my floor was the most
obvious thing I did. It certainly
required the most time, June - October.
The less obvious element of it is that I used all that time to think
about relationships.
It wasn't a happy year for me. My brother-in-law died, which was very shortly after my friend
died, and a co-worker's husband. I was
effected by the Paris shooting, which was only one of many shootings in
2015. There were a lot of contentious
meetings and reports at work.
I just wasn't happy, and didn't feel like I was getting the
outside support I needed. I pondered
who was good for me and who wasn't when Danny's cancer recurred and almost
killed him just when Gary killed himself, and that was followed by 2 more suicides. I fell off my deck so hard that my body hurt
as much as my heart and mind.
So the year started hard, but spending all that time
painting the floor made me more flexible in more ways than one. My general outlook on life improved, and the
ladies at work went out of their way to feed me positive thoughts. I helped avert another suicide, and feel
pleased with myself that I set and maintained my boundaries in the
process. The year is ending with 2 new
babies in my environment and I feel happiness to be in the afterglow of those
families' happiness.
Against all of this, I repeatedly met ghosts from my past
this year. We stood on my floor and
shared stories about the Glen. I saw
their positive memories of me reflected in their faces, and I was given a
chance to redefine myself to myself.
I drank bourbon in Kentucky, which has turned into a lesser
hobby. So far I've enjoyed cherry-aged
and honey bourbons the best. I got a
new neighbor and was assigned an extra hobby of staring out the kitchen window to
look for her missing cat while I made a lot of applesauce. My dog got skunked. I took a painting retreat to Lake
Chautauqua, NY and started illustrating things for a magazine.
 |
| Helen and her halo |
This is life.
Sometimes we have challenges and grief to deal with. Sometimes we get to smile at a baby. This week I helped Helen, our cheerful,
colorful, and kind volunteer with her Christmas cookies. She knows all about life's ups and downs,
and usually has an off-color quip and a hearty laugh to get through those peaks
and valleys. She made 17 kinds of
cookies this year and gave them to people she appreciates including her
doctors, church, friends, family, etc., etc.
Her spirit of gratitude and giving is inspiring (and her cookies are
delicious!)
 |
| Helen supervising cookie trays |
 |
| Josie helped package cookies too |
