"Technology"

Hey, whaddaya know!  IF finally gave us "technology" for a new word and I just painted a computer mouse.  It's a sign 2020 is going to be an excellent blogging year, right?  Right?  Hope springs eternal.

Every January I look at my previous year of blog posts to remind myself of life's journey.  I've felt like I was very internally focused in 2019 but looking through my posts I did a lot of people things.  Volunteering at the food giveaway has been interesting.  I've been repeatedly annoyed IF forgets to give us new words on Fridays.  I worried about 45 starting a war with Iran last summer.  I participated in Inktober and took some trips.

My dog died last fall.  I still "see" her all the time, and I'm not ready for a new pup -- but I keep thinking about one.  Every time I see a dog I think about the breed's pros and cons.  I'm leaning towards finding a beagle mutt, maybe in the spring.  I'm not looking forward to house breaking, puppy feet on art projects, or furniture chewing.  I'm certain I've mentioned how much I like old dogs who understand how to share a peaceful coexistence.  Bro2 says my new dog will find me when we're both ready.  We'll see, and see what else happens this year.

I'm not much for New Year's resolutions, but I have some goals for the year.  I feel kind of superstitious talking about them like revealing your wish when blowing out the birthday candles.  Hopefully, good things will happen without too many bad things to balance the scales.  I tried to cut back on my caffeine and immediately abandoned that when I got a screaming headache.

I usually try to avoid talking about politics on this blog, but I don't know how successful I'll be at that this year.  The US presidential election will happen in November.  The current president is impeached and his trial in the Senate will probably happen soon.  How am I supposed to be quiet about that?  If he starts a war with Iran I'm pretty sure I'll have to say my piece about it.

It's January in Ohio and my neighbor's magnolia tree is budding.  I have my window open because it's 60F degrees outside.  In other words, I'm pretty sure I'll be thinking about climate change this year.  That's nothing new.  I've been thinking about the environment since I was a child and the Cuyahoga River caught fire, spawning Earth Day and motivating Nixon to create the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).  To this end, here's a video about the toll fashion takes out on the world by comedian Hasan Minhaj.  Currently, I extend my deepest sympathies to Australians and scorched koala bears.

The mouse above is from my latest painting.  I wasn't happy with the painting, but I didn't want to toss it out or repaint parts of it.  I finally came to terms with my artistic angst and revised the canvas.  I'm much happier.  I don't know why I fought myself so hard about it.  It took much more effort to fight myself about it than to actually make the revisions.  I'm still working on it, and will show you when it's finished, but I'm going to set it aside and work on something else for a while.

I hope 2020 is going great for you so far!

"Wall"

I'm writing on a Sunday and there still isn't a Friday word.*  I made allowances for holiday distractions in December, but what's the excuse in January?  Maybe I just get too serious about things.  I doubt the world's rotation depends on another blog post.  Yet, I find my posts are a way of publicly journaling about some things, stuff I don't even remember caring about a few months later.  Was the Olympics really less than a year ago?  Did I really just start my I Spy still lifes in March?  My, how time flies!

Actually, I did 2 pre-series I Spy paintings in 2017, but they were precursors, unformed inspirations that led to the series I started in 2018.  Looking back through the blog posts I can see how my work evolved to the paintings I'm doing now.  I can read about things I was thinking then that led to my current thoughts.

I couldn't realize I'd still be blogging when I started this years ago.  I had ideas for things I thought I'd write about and I haven't written about most of those things.  I remember feeling intimidated about airing my feelings.  I thought talking about myself was egotistical.  I've gotten over that.  I found other people agree with me, or don't, and we can still make friendships around the planet.  I find myself thinking of kittens and puppies and children I'll never physically meet and feeling my life is better for it.  Even sympathizing with your illness or losses adds something to my reality.

Thank you for sharing and joining me on the journey.  You inspire me with your own creative endeavors.

There are times I look at my computer screen and think I've already written everything I've got to say.  Somehow, I always seem to find a few more words to add.  Those words lead to more words and somehow there's another post.  Sometimes I don't want to make art for the post, and yet there's always an image to post with the words.  The process keeps me in a forward motion even when I feel stalled.  It's an exercise that keeps me limber like walking in the park.

I can't imagine what I'll write and paint in 2019.  It never occurred to me that I'd talk about okra in 2018, which I pickled by the way.  It's delicious.  I regret only making 2 jars of it and giving one of the jars away.  In any case, there will be more surprises in the coming year, and time will tell whether they'll turn out as well as pickled okra.

Wishing everyone a creative, happy, and successful year!

*IF gave a new word, "Wall", on Monday afternoon.  Let's just call all the thumbnail pics as a wall of art?

"A"

I can't swear that I didn't reuse some words in this piece.  I tried to pay attention, but proofreading isn't one of my better skills.  I took this week's prompt as a test of how many A words I could think up.  I'll admit I started cheating, but sometimes getting a word off the computer reminded me of quite a few more words lurking in my mind.  I also remembered words that I couldn't define.  I can't really explain why I'd know a word exists without knowing how to use it.  I'm not sure I'll ever really understand my own brain, but I continue to look at it as an interesting object worth studying.

I started another painting, but it isn't far enough along to show it to you yet.  Instead, let's look back at the year that was.

I'm reminded that I've spent much of the last year obsessed with the news.  I try to ignore it, but I can't.  Sometimes my obsession leaked into my posts.  I tried to keep that at a minimum because I like to get along and share happier thoughts.  Some of the things I wrote about in the last year feel like they happened a super long time ago.  Did I testify in court in February?!  I'm pretty sure that was at least 5 or 6 years ago.  Went to the cheese factory with Bro2?  That had to be in some other year too.  Some things feel so immediate I can't believe they happened months ago.  I'm also reminded of things that I didn't discuss but were seeping through the tone of my posts.

I lost 3 friends in 2017.  Two died, one was very old, one was too young.  The third friend is just going in a different direction with different values and priorities than me.  It happens.  It's sad.  I wish him well.  I found out another friend died a couple of years ago.  I hadn't kept up with him, but I'd kept him in my heart.  Even though he died a while ago the fact of his death is new to me.  I'm feeling my own mortality.

I ranted about wildlife more than is seemly, which is ironic coming from a life-long environmentalist.  I even married a professional environmentalist at one time.  That was a mistake, but hey, live and learn.  My deer and groundhogs are safe from my murderous thoughts, still brimming over with glossy health.  I expect they'll demolish this year's garden and I'll probably complain about it.

I wrote a book.  I even sent out a number of query letters to publishers.  I still think the book should be published, but I didn't send enough queries.  I just collapsed on my momentum.  I mean really, I already devoted all that time writing the thing.  Why do I have to put in energy to sell it?  Besides, it's a non-fiction effort on a topic I want to forget (working for Religion).  I'm adjusting my attitude about this starting next week.

I painted this year, real paintings that I'm proud of myself for creating.  I did some illustrations for magazines.  That felt good.  Sometimes I wrote about making art too.

Mostly, I think the past year was focused on decluttering my mind, pulling out past issues that never seem to die and trying to find a new way forward, taking time to breathe and evaluate what really matters to me.  I've spent a lot of time studying better ways to accomplish these goals too.  I'm pretty sure those topics will come up in some future posts.

Wishing everyone a happy, successful, productive 2018!

"Soar 2"

I hope everyone had a merry Christmas!  I always find this in-between week before New Year's contemplative.  It's dark outside and I don't have to work as many days.  There's time for looking back over the year and thinking about what the new year will bring.

Looking over my past year, painting my floor was the most obvious thing I did.  It certainly required the most time, June - October.  The less obvious element of it is that I used all that time to think about relationships.

It wasn't a happy year for me.  My brother-in-law died, which was very shortly after my friend died, and a co-worker's husband.  I was effected by the Paris shooting, which was only one of many shootings in 2015.  There were a lot of contentious meetings and reports at work.

I just wasn't happy, and didn't feel like I was getting the outside support I needed.  I pondered who was good for me and who wasn't when Danny's cancer recurred and almost killed him just when Gary killed himself, and that was followed by 2 more suicides.  I fell off my deck so hard that my body hurt as much as my heart and mind.

So the year started hard, but spending all that time painting the floor made me more flexible in more ways than one.  My general outlook on life improved, and the ladies at work went out of their way to feed me positive thoughts.  I helped avert another suicide, and feel pleased with myself that I set and maintained my boundaries in the process.  The year is ending with 2 new babies in my environment and I feel happiness to be in the afterglow of those families' happiness.

Against all of this, I repeatedly met ghosts from my past this year.  We stood on my floor and shared stories about the Glen.  I saw their positive memories of me reflected in their faces, and I was given a chance to redefine myself to myself.

I drank bourbon in Kentucky, which has turned into a lesser hobby.  So far I've enjoyed cherry-aged and honey bourbons the best.  I got a new neighbor and was assigned an extra hobby of staring out the kitchen window to look for her missing cat while I made a lot of applesauce.  My dog got skunked.  I took a painting retreat to Lake Chautauqua, NY and started illustrating things for a magazine.

Helen and her halo

This is life.  Sometimes we have challenges and grief to deal with.  Sometimes we get to smile at a baby.  This week I helped Helen, our cheerful, colorful, and kind volunteer with her Christmas cookies.  She knows all about life's ups and downs, and usually has an off-color quip and a hearty laugh to get through those peaks and valleys.  She made 17 kinds of cookies this year and gave them to people she appreciates including her doctors, church, friends, family, etc., etc.  Her spirit of gratitude and giving is inspiring (and her cookies are delicious!)

Helen supervising cookie trays

Josie helped package cookies too

Here's to hoping that all of us have a wonderful New Year filled with cookies!