"Family 3"

I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday and miraculously lost 10 pounds eating cookies.  Now that I think of it, I didn't get a single cookie.  This seems like a serious oversight since I'm pretty sure fortune cookies don't count.

The view on the way into the National Gallery of Art

I went to Washington, DC to visit a friend.  I suggested going to the White House and protesting, but 45 Christmased in Florida and there didn't seem much point to making signs if he wasn't going to see them.  My friend and I went to the National Gallery of Art instead.  Great art.  I highly recommend going if you're ever in DC.  Even if you don't travel there, the museum has art lectures on youtube.  Look them up and learn stuff. 

I inquired where to find specific paintings I wanted to see and the nice lady made a point of telling me not to miss a little room with Vermeers in it.  I was distracted when she told me this and almost missed the significance of her recommendation.  I peeked around a corner and woo!  Vermeer!  Little gems that I really did need to see, and nobody else in the room to bother my intense examination of them.  Lovely.

David's Cupid and Psyche in Cleveland beats Napoleon any day!

I spent some happy time with Titian, Rubens, on and on and on.  My only disappointment was their only Jacques Louis David painting is of Napoleon.  I mean, it's really well painted, but who wants to look at Napoleon?  The Cleveland Museum of Art has Cupid and Psyche.  Cleveland wins!

The museum has a number of Rembrandts, but I'm kind of specific in my love of his work.  I was thrilled to see his self portrait.  Nothing I can show on the web can compare to standing in front of the reality.  Imagine my little heart going pitty pat at the texture and details.

Detail of Rembrandt's self portrait, but this doesn't do the original justice.
The paint is caked on and has a fabulous texture.

I don't think it's possible to fully appreciate the whole museum in one day so I'll have to go back sometime.  I got online to find these photos of paintings for this post and realize how many things I still need to see there.  It may take me a while to forget how much I hate driving in DC first though.  Once again, I got turned around and frantic driving on illogical freeways.  At one point I had to cross 4 lanes of traffic because they put the exit ramp on the left side.  Who does freeway planning?!!  I was busy hyperventilating after this driving feat and missed my next exit which led me in all sorts of other places I didn't want to go, and they charged me tolls for the privilege.

My friend had to work some of the days I visited so I worked on a new painting.  It was pleasant to have an art retreat for the holidays.  The image at the top is just a part of my latest piece.  I'm rethinking a big chunk of the rest of it and may end up painting over some of it.  I hate it when that happens, but it's my own fault for not starting with a better plan.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday doing what you like most with the people you like best.  Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, successful New Year!!!

"Family 2"

Someone asked me recently about my happiest Christmas.  I got an image of my brain as a Rolodex of memory index cards spinning around until it landed on a happy day of childhood at my grandparents' house.  We didn't usually go to their house for Christmas, but that year we did.  There was a lit up tree in the dining room decorated with fragile glass ornaments.  Some of the lights bubbled.  My cousins ran around and yelled as they played.  Aunts chatted in the kitchen.  Uncles chatted in the living room.  Dinner was perfect.  Everyone was happy.  I was happy.

One of the pleasures of going to Grandma's was after the meal was done.  Women whisked the dishes into the kitchen and men took the children to the nearby park where we burned off our excess energy and cookies.  In winter, the pond was frozen over and there was a hot fire going nearby.  People warmed their hands and laughed.  Sometimes we walked to the other end of the park with the big sledding hill where there was another big fire burning.  Up the hill, down the hill... repeat until bruised and exhausted.  Trudge our way back to Grandma's where the dishes were miraculously clean and put away.

We played cards and drank hot tea.  We had sandwiches made from leftovers and ate more cookies.  Grandma filled us all in on the extended family whom I probably never met, or maybe died 3 or 4 generations ago.  The patter of the conversation didn't matter much to me.  I just liked listening to the pleasantness of it with the tinkling of a metal spoon clinking as someone stirred sugar in their tea.  The creaking of Grandpa's oak rocking chair, his soft huh, huh chuckle when something struck him funny.  "Santa Got Run Over by a Reindeer" playing somewhere upstairs.

My wish is for every child to have a perfect holiday, whatever their religion.  I hope they are safe and loved and they feel a sense of belonging amongst the people around them.  I hope older people feel treasured by the younger generations.

Of course, I also know my happy wishes won't come true for everyone.  For some, the mashed potatoes might fly across the room or somebody pounds the table.  Some people are lonely because they don't have anyone around anymore.  For them, I wish a perfect memory of happiness that keeps them warm when things aren't like a perfect day at Grandma's.

It wasn't that my grandparents did anything so remarkable back then.  I got a small gift I don't remember anymore.  The food was great, but it wasn't gourmet fare.  It was probably a turkey, mashed potatoes, and green beans or something -- oh yeah, let's not forget the ever-present applesauce!  Pretty little dishes with pickles and olives and nuts and whatever else scattered around the table.  Talking about unknown relatives isn't exactly thrilling.  Playing cards is pretty cheap entertainment.  It's just that when all these things were combined it was magic.

Or, maybe the point of it was my own perspective?  Happiness isn't something someone can force on you.  We choose it.  Wherever you are, whoever you're with, whatever life gives you, I hope you find joy and happiness this holiday season!

"Family"

I was told I died.  You'd think I would've noticed that, but my friend told me he had it on good authority.  I guess I should've asked when and how, and maybe most especially, who came up with this?!  It reminds me when I was a teenager and told Mike had died.  I was with the distraught family when Mike walked in after a weekend of carousing.  He was concerned to see his mom crying.  He put his hand on her shoulder and asked, "Who died?".  Scared her to death herself!  Everybody had a good laugh.  Turned out Mike's wallet had been stolen and the thief had it when he totaled his car.  I guess it wasn't a good ending for the thief, but was a happy relief for Mike's family and me.

My premature death notice was one of those things when you learn the world is smaller than we notice most of the time.  A friend of mine mentioned an acquaintance's name.  "I know him!  I was best friends with his sister when we were in school!"  I happily gossiped and mentioned other classmates from days gone by.  I salivated at the memory of Dave's mom's homemade apple strudel.  My friend repeated some of these names to Dave and eventually passed on my greetings for me.  That's when Dave said I was dead.  Our mutual friend assured him I looked alive last week.  I poked myself and said I was pretty sure that was still true.  I feel ripped off I didn't get a glowing obituary in the paper and condolence cards, though I feel kind of sorry if anyone actually grieved over my premature death.

I might be more fussed about Dave's belief in my non-existence if I hadn't lived through that time when it happened to Mike.  I saw Mike a few years ago and I know a mistaken obit isn't a harbinger of something to come.  Maybe Dave got me mixed up with someone else?  Maybe my ex still spreads lies about me?  Whatever.  Maybe I should have lunch at Kleifeld's Restaurant in Willoughby where I always see someone I know from the old days to prove I'm still here and still trying to make the most out of the time I have on the planet.

Sometimes I'm happy to be included in a large family and the hometown community.  Sometimes it makes me want to scream.  Really, people -- gossip about someone else!  Oh, but didn't I gossip a bit about Dave and others to my friend?  Oops.  Well, yeah, but, you know, public service announcements or something, as I mutter to myself about hypocrisy and try to think up a good rationalization to excuse myself.  I don't spill all the dirt I know about people at any rate.  That's got to count for something, right?  Um, yeah.  Glass houses.

None of this seems apropos to the holiday, but it is the current gossip.  I thought it was funnier than my non-successful trip to the store in search of gifts.  I walked out with a $1 desk calendar for myself and nothing else.  I hate shopping.  I don't know how all the rest of you manage this every year.  I think I'll be taking my own advice from last week and bake some presents.

I'll take suggestions.  What are your favorite sweets to receive?

"Gift"

Dr. Phil says "Food isn't love", but he's wrong.  It can be.  Cooking for those you love is a loving gift.  I think back to Grandma and taste her applesauce even though I haven't had it for many years.  The apples came from Grandpa's apple tree in the back yard, a tree that bloomed in many colors every spring, and drooped with many colored apples every fall.  He took cuttings from heirloom trees when he took trips and grafted them on his tree when he got home.  We had applesauce so often when I was a kid I got sick of it.  What I wouldn't give to have a jar of Grandma's applesauce again!

$83 of groceries didn't look like very much food when I brought it home from my last shopping trip.  This made me think about those who spend a lot of their lives working for groceries and how many people count their pennies so they can buy holiday gifts.  Like my grandparents' applesauce, cooking doesn't have to be expensive. 

I bought a ham.  Ham is affordable and useful.  I'll make sandwiches and freeze extra slices for future sandwiches.  I'll cube the less pretty parts and use that meat and the ham bone for soup.  Into the freezer it all goes.  I'll melt the fat for lard which I'll later use as a flavor and grease in cooking other things and top my bowl of soup with cracklings.  Many future meals for $18.  Thank you pig.

Sometimes I'm aware I eat better and don't spend as much money as other people.  A young woman told me recently she'd like to be a vegetarian, but isn't, because she thinks vegetables are too expensive.  I gave her a confused look.  Buying ham is more expensive than carrots.  I seldom make lentil or pea soup, but I'll toss dried peas and lentils into other soups.  Lentils and peas are about $1 per bag.  Easy, cheap, good for us.  I pick herbs in the garden.  These are perennials, so free.  Grow them in pots if you don't have a yard.

Yeah, but cooking takes too much time!  Well, sorta, but I like chopping vegetables for soup.  It's my meditation.  You could use a food processor if it makes you happy.  I make big batches so I can freeze it in single serving bags for later because I don't feel like cooking every day.  I freeze them flat so they thaw out fast, then microwave them in a glass bowl for an easy, healthy supper.

I drink a lot of Red Rose tea, but they stopped putting little porcelain figurines in the box.  This made me ornery and gave me insight into early Americans dumping tea in the harbor when they were mad at King George.  I started looking around my yard for tea substitutes.  Well, I didn't give up all my tea, I was looking for things to lessen my tea dependence.  I picked clover blossoms and raspberry leaves.  I grew chamomile, mint, lemon balm, hibiscus, and lemon verbena.  My tea has gotten tastier and healthier, and I saved money.  I miss getting porcelain turtles though.  I'm hoping my protest will result in the reappearance of little figurines some day.

When I started volunteering at the food giveaway I hadn't thought about getting food from the gig.  It's just something I like to do.  This week, an old lady encouraged me to try persimmons.  I love them! (The old lady warned me they have to be very ripe or they'll pucker your mouth though).  I often take home defective, rejected produce and can it.  Canning takes time too, but I like canning.  It's like a science project in the kitchen and I get yummy fruit for dessert.  I gift jars of it to nice people too.

You don't have to cook all the time, but give it a shot.  Give the gift of home cooking to someone you love :)

"Brain 4"

Thanksgiving has happened so now America shops for Christmas.  Well, I don't, but it seems like everyone else does.  The economy depends on it.  It seems to me there has got to be better ways to base economies than just accumulating stuff.  I'm more inclined to give home cooked food.  People eat the cookies or whatever and they aren't burdened with more things to cram into their houses or landfills.

I recently lectured a couple of my friends about buying kids too much plastic.  I felt guilty afterwards as both friends are enthusiastic grandmas who want to spoil their grandchildren -- but maybe they are exactly the kinds of people I should lecture about plastic?

Think about it, we ship oil across the world to be turned into plastic in a third world country, or we buy oil from the Middle East with its problems, before shipping it to the third world country.  Making the plastic is a toxic mess that gets into the air and water, poisoning the underpaid workers and getting into the global environment.  Once the all-important plastic stuff is created, it's shipped back around the world where it will be used for a short time before it's thrown away.  This doesn't even factor in the excessive plastic packaging, or the trees that are cut down for all the Amazon shipping boxes, or the fact that there are oil spills and other mistakes that dump plastic in the oceans.

When I visit the homes of people with children, I'm amazed at the amount of stuff little kids have.  It's crazy.  The kids don't even play with all that stuff.  One family has a couple of T-ball stands in the back yard.  I watched the boys have a good time whacking plastic balls with plastic bats.  That's nice, except I drove home and thought about the old days.  T-ball was a wooden post nailed to a wooden X base.  The ball was leather stuffed with who knows what, rat fur as far as I know.  Renewable resources at any rate.  The kids learned to hit the ball, then they didn't need the T anymore.  The wood was used for something else or it returned to the Earth by rotting in the backyard, but the plastic T, bat, and ball exists forever and probably end us in a bird's stomach.

I know, I know, some of you adore Christmas shopping.  You love spoiling the kiddies.  I know nobody wants to be lectured.  At the same time, can I suggest that you buy more Earth-friendly gifts?  Cuddling a kid on the couch and reading a book together is good.  Every kid (and adult) loves cookies.  Maybe you could make a snuggly stuffed animal or blankie for them?  I'm not anti-gift, I'm just trying to stop people from giving their kids their weight in plastic every year.  Give them experiences and memories.  Take them to the zoo or make crafts together.

I did this Christmas art for the Mensa Bulletin's December issue.  It doesn't have much to do with "brain" other than encouraging people to use their brains a little differently when shopping.  Illustration Friday has forgotten the meaning of Friday in its name.  Oh well, if they don't follow the rules that frees me up to ignore the rules too, right?

I hope everyone has a happy, cookie filled, plastic-free holiday season!

"Brain 3"

I guess IF wants us to keep talking about brains since our leader neglects his duties of choosing new words.  I'm not sure I want to keep talking about this though.  As I said recently, "Sometimes I'm sick and tired of being in my own brain!"  The woman I was talking with gave me an incredulous look.  I asked, "Don't you ever get sick of your own thoughts?"  Nope.  She never did.  It was my turn to look incredulous.  I can't conceive of such a thing.

Another woman told me she's had a blissed out, happy life.  No problems at all.  Perfect family, perfect husband, perfect kids.  I was certain she was deluding herself, but our mutual friend told me that it's true.  None of her people has gotten sick or died, she's always had plenty of money, never been seriously emotionally or physically hurt, and has succeeded at whatever she wanted to achieve.  How is this possible?!  I want her life.

Except in my heart of hearts, I doubt I really want her life.  Well, it would be helpful to have some of her money.  Otherwise, maybe I'd rather live in my own irritating brain?

I've had more than my share of bad experiences.  Sometimes I give myself pity parties.  Sometimes I see the positives I got from those experiences.  I'm sure I'm more sympathetic, empathetic, and interesting because of the life I've had.  I'd like an easy life like that happy woman with the perfect world, but I'm not sure I'd want to trade my intangible benefits I've gotten from living through stuff.

Or, more realistically, I've already lived through those things.  I can't give them back without getting a lobotomy.  The choice is to find positives in what I have and to find gratitude for those positives.

I'm sad this week because Rand MacIvor died.  He was one of my first followers when I started this blog.  I know some of you met Rand this way too.  I don't know how he found me, and I was surprised anybody would want to read things I had to say.  He encouraged me when I needed it.  We happily bashed politics together.  He was often silly and we traded jokes and stories of working as commercial artists in the old days.  I looked forward to his messages.

I can be critical of the virtual world we live in.  Young people are glued to their phones and tweet and repost stuff that doesn't matter.  At the same time, I valued my virtual Canadian friend.  The web gives us the chance to meet people across the world.  I think this is especially wonderful for artists who work alone and spend too much time in their own heads, and in Rand's case, even more important when he couldn't do art himself anymore. He was failing for a long time so his passing wasn't a complete surprise, but I feel the loss.

So when I think of the woman with the perfect life who has never lost anyone special to her?  Well, that's nice for her.  At the same time, I'm glad I got to know Rand.  I'm willing to have today's sadness because it's a sign we actually connected in a meaningful way.  And to all my other blog buddies, I value you too.  Thank you!

"Brain 2"

I got a project this summer with a vague deadline of "Sometime before Christmas".  Great!  I even started the 4 paintings in the summer but I ran into an obstacle.  I needed to go back to a previous project and take photos so old and new paintings would go together.  But you know how it is.  There was always something better to do, more urgent projects, my growing resentment that these started paintings laid around my living room and nagged me to finish them

I procrastinated and started writing a blog post about motivation.  I saw the irony.  I abandoned the effort to motivate others and can happily report I finally finished the before Christmas paintings, but maybe some of the following points can help you motivate too.

1. Make yourself responsible.  For my project, I know I would've finished it sooner if I'd set a better deadline.  I could've told a friend about my procrastinating and requested a friendly nudge in a week.  Knowing myself, I'd get it done before my friend would have to nag me because that's only considerate.  I'd call and proclaim victory instead.  I could write a deadline on my calendar.  You may figure out a way that work better for you -- then do it.

2.  Show up and set a routine.  When I went to work every day I worked every day whether I felt like it or not.  Maybe I chatted with coworkers over a cup of tea first, but I'd buckle down at some point.  An object in motion stays in motion.  An object at rest stays at rest.  If you want to accomplish things, do something.  Even the masters had days when they were just grinding out the day's work.  The grind work pays off too.  You get better at it and it becomes less of an obstacle on future days.

3. Don't get ahead of yourself by thinking into the future or hoping for a masterpiece.  Every project starts by picking up a pencil, opening a file, or some other very easy action anyone can do.  In the case of my delayed project, I didn't want to work on it because I knew it would to take a lot of time to do.  I quit thinking about that and opened my reference photos.  I just did a bit of the task before me.  After that there was less to do and that was less intimidating.

I'm pretty sure all of us procrastinate from time to time.  The point is we need to find ways that help us do the things we want or have to do.  What do you tell yourself when you're dragging your heels on a project?  I'll be happy to learn more ways to kick myself in motion when I need it.